Lord of the flings

MyCampusDates.com has recently catapulted the great state of Indiana into a late-blooming race for the prom crown – one applicant from IU and four area colleges (Butler, Purdue, Indiana State and Ball State) will prevail in snagging the title of Campus Date Master, the go-to person for dating advice on each campus.\nSo, we enlightened, experienced and oh-so-suave editorial writers thought we’d throw a bit of advice your way if you’re thinking of applying. Think you’ve got game? Try this date template out.\nIn preparation, undergarments are important. Ladies, a white T-shirt bra with a disparate black lacy thong is always a winner. Guys, when debating boxers or briefs, just think parsimony! Wearing nothing at all will both surprise and delight.\nFor dinner, we’d like to recommend Mad Mushroom, but only Monday and Tuesday nights, when its large cheese pizza is $3.99. This shows the lass you’re economical and, by God, you obey the law of demand. If it’s any other day, look for deals elsewhere. Do not drop more than $7 on both of you. And if she didn’t get enough to eat, you’re really just helping her in the long run – now she won’t have to go to the gym tomorrow. After all, you’re concerned with her well-being as a whole here.\nAfterward, do something to really impress her, like showing off your extensive anime knowledge or how far your Level 63 mage has progressed in “World of Warcraft.”\nAs for movie choices, there’s no contest: “Schindler’s List.” Sets the mood like you wouldn’t believe.\nAnd, if your luck is holding well enough to perhaps even get a little of the no-pants dance, music selection is crucial. Girls, drop the Coldplay album. Guys, “Crash Into Me” on repeat for three hours will not cut it. There’s nothing that sets the mood better than a choice selection or two from an ESPN “Jock Jams” album circa 1995. If it works for basketball warm-up music, then it certainly transcends the sex realm. And who isn’t turned on by an enthusiastic “It’s awesome, baby!” from Dick Vitale?\nBut once you’ve had that romantic evening, the crucial point really comes with the rising of the sun and the setting of your blood alcohol level. “Do I make a run for it?” She’s still asleep, there’s a clear path to the door – it’s doable. We’re sure you’ve heard some nonsense about a slow leg extension onto the floor, carefully shifting your body weight to your standing leg, scooping up your clothes and tiptoeing straight out the door without a look behind. Once again – not the case. We think it’s crucial to wake loudly, blow your nose if you need to and throw out a classy conversation starter such as “Man! I haven’t been that drunk since I slept with your sister!”\nAnd then be sure to help yourself to a bowl of cereal in her kitchen.\nThese are the rules, folks. Learn ‘em and live ‘em. If you’re good, you just might be able to mack with us.