Looking at my crystal ball

The world of sports in 2006 left us with many memories. Some were good, some were bad and some were sad. We watched Roger Federer dominate tennis, we watched another NBA brawl and we endured the passing of legendary NBA coach Red Auerbach. With all the excitement and sorrow of 2006, I can only imagine what 2007 has in store for us.\nI may not be Nostradamus, but I have some predictions for this year. Here's what I see in my crystal ball:\nThe Cincinnati Bengals will have a player arrested before training camp.\n"Rocky VII" will go into production. The story line will go as follows: Rocky fights an 8-year-old kid on the Nintendo Wii "Sports" boxing and -- spoiler alert! -- Rocky loses.\nSadly, the NHL will move the Pittsburgh Penguins to Kansas City where phenom Sidney Crosby will single-handedly be the reason the NHL gets a TV contract with ESPN. The loss of the Pens, as well as Steelers' coach Bill Cowher, will be too much for most Pittsburgh natives to handle. \nThe Colts will win the Super Bowl, silencing all the doubters. I am writing this for two reasons. First, even though I'm probably going to be wrong, if they do pull it off, I can say I predicted it and will write a column the week after about how amazing I am. Second, I made a New Year's resolution to be more optimistic, and this is the first step.\nFor all you Reds fans, Ken Griffey Jr. will get hurt midseason.\nNBA Commissioner David Stern will produce a children's video game called "Where in the World is Keith Van Horn?"\nFantasy sports will run the lives of men ages 13 to 65 and cause thousands of divorces throughout the United States.\nThe Utah Jazz will win 50 games during the regular season yet still be an underdog in the first round of the playoffs.\nThe AFC will beat the NFC in the Super Bowl.\nMy column's readers will tally double digits by the end of semester (my optimism resolution step two).\nKobe and Shaq still will not be friends.\nThe World Series of Poker champion will be someone you've never heard of before and will never hear of again.\nTiger Woods will win two more majors.\nThe Xbox 360 "Madden 07" tournament at Times Square (airing on ESPN) will draw a higher attendance than the first game of the Stanley Cup finals.\nAfter the Eagles lose to the Saints this weekend, the entire city of Philadelphia will implode after years of dealing with disappointing sports teams.\nJohn Madden will point out the obvious approximately 64,536 times.\nRon Artest will have a Ron Artest moment in Sacramento making Pacers fans around the world, myself included, chuckle.\nI will go through another entire MLB season wondering why the American public likes watching baseball on TV.\nThe likelihood of all these things actually happening is slim, but it would surely make for an entertaining year of sports. But if all these things do actually happen, I'll be first in line to see "Rocky VII"