Feelin' the heat

I detest Indiana weather. From the end of September to the beginning of May, I have been known to huddle in my room, decked out like Randy from "A Christmas Story," sipping hot tea and counting the days until spring.\nSo yes, I do realize the irony of writing a column about global warming as the temperatures fall. But as appealing as the thought of warmer temperatures is, global warming is bad news. Period.\nA little background: Global warming does not mean that we will soon be able to sun ourselves on the banks of the Jordan River in January, sipping pina coladas out of coconuts with little paper umbrellas in them. In fact, the change in temperature might only be a few degrees, but if scientists are correct, that fluctuation could very well mean we'll be in over our heads.\nWhat global warming does mean is gases released into the atmosphere from burning fossil fuels might soon smother the Earth, causing the average temperature to rise anywhere from about 3 to 11 degrees Fahrenheit. Such a change might hardly even be perceptible to us. We might get a little less snow, but that's about it.\nHowever, to the Earth, such a temperature change spells disaster. As ice caps melt, ocean levels will rise. Basically, we can kiss spring break in the Florida Keys goodbye, since they'll be underwater. In addition, the effect on seasonal crop cycles will be a decrease in the production of such staples as pizza and beer. And then there's the matter of our flora and fauna. If Bambi doesn't adjust to the new weather patterns and can't to find food, even he will not be able to save his adorable, furry self from the massive die-outs that are expected. On top of that, we will likely see stronger storm systems, which will be really fun to deal with when we're hiking to class.\nBut maybe you don't like Bambi -- or pizza. Sorry, you'll still be affected by global warming. Sir Nicholas Stern, a senior British government economist, released a 700-page report that predicts global warming will cause a major global economic catastrophe on the scale of the Great Depression and displace some 200 million people. However, if the government tightens emissions regulations to slow global warming while we still have the chance, the cost will only amount to approximately 1 percent of world gross domestic product.\nThe solutions to global warming involve both reducing consumption on our part and pushing for cleaner technologies on the government's part. After last week's change in congressional leadership, we can at least hope the United States, the world's top polluter, will assume some sort of leadership role in cracking down on industrial and automotive emissions. As members of the voting community, we need to pressure our elected officials to hurry and get to it. We might feel a small economic pinch now, but if that's what it takes to avoid a kick in the pants later, so be it.