Dude, I'm in fashion

According to abcnews.com, a media sea change is coming -- an un-plucked, un-moisturized sea change -- brought on in the wake of the collapse of Cargo, a shopping-themed magazine for men, and advertising firm Leo Burnett's finding that "half of men (surveyed) say their role in society is unclear and that they feel 'less dominant' than in previous decades ... (And) more than 70 percent of men said advertising was out of touch with men's 'reality'..." In short, ABC says: "Metrosexual Is Out, Macho Is In."\nWhat's that? Most guys hated the metrosexual trend? Who'da thunk?\nFurther support comes from a July 6 New York Observer piece by Sara Vilkomerson. In "Man Flab, It's Fab," she cites the box-office success of movies starring Jack Black, Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn as evidence that skinny has fallen out of vogue with the opposite sex. To quote: "Our men are carrying an extra ten -- hell, maybe 15 -- pounds in the midriff, haven't even thought about the gym in months, and they are unashamed. Why should they be? The Hollywood box-office draws have stopped looking like the lithe and graceful Orlando Blooms of the world, delicate and emotive and who might possibly weigh less than an average female fan, and instead now look like guys you can recognize as being from the same planet you inhabit, who eat, drink, and smoke what they want, pack on the pounds and still get to regularly bed skinny actresses who can't remember what carbs taste like. What's more, the women don't mind a bit -- in fact, some prefer it."\nSo, finally, after about three years of metrosexual media rule, I can stop holding in my gut. Brilliant.\nLook, if this really is how things are going, you won't find me complaining. I come from a long line of short, squat, hairy guys -- supremely well adapted to surviving frigid northern European winters, and warring with other clans to steal their sheep, but not to modeling designer pinstripes in GQ. \nMy question, rather, is: who decides this stuff?\nI know, I know -- women get the treatment 1,000 times worse than we blokes do. No doubt. And maybe there are guys out there who are looking for bony fashion models or the undulating hoochies from hip-hop videos. All I can say is that whoever decided on these standards didn't consult me -- and, I believe, many, many guys. Indeed, I suspect that mutual misperception leads us to think that what we see in the media is what the other side wants, so we ratchet things up and up and up. Like an arms race, except with exercise bikes, and exfoliant, and manicures, and waxing and whatnot. Or, if this new trend holds true -- I don't know -- beer, donuts and not shaving or something. \n'Course, just because I think this is kind of nuts, that doesn't mean I'm above taking advantage of the situation. \nSo, ya know ladies, I'm available.