Oscars 'crash' and burn

Does anyone remember "Crash?" It won the Best Picture Oscar three weeks ago. No? Don't worry. You'll soon see it overflowing bargain bins next to "Shakespeare in Love," "The English Patient" and "Million Dollar Baby." But what doomed it to end up there? How did this self-described "little film about race in America" end up winning the Best Picture Oscar over such substantial cinematic offerings as "Good Night, and Good Luck" and "Munich?"\nThe Oscars chickened out. They saw Fox News calling out their deceptive "liberal agenda" and turned tail, running at the thought of the same majority that re-elected George W. Bush turning against their storied institution. Or maybe they just liked "Crash" better, but we doubt it. The Academy played it safe, unlike last year with the mediocre but topical "Million Dollar Baby," a winner timed to coincide with the removal of Terry Schiavo's feeding tube. Truth be told, "Crash" was the safest choice of all the films nominated this year. With two nominated films featuring homosexual characters and the other two taking a prominent liberal stance on social/national issues, "Crash" was the warm glass of milk to those films' shot of Everclear.\nIf one spoke candidly, off the record with the majority of Academy voters who chose "Crash," chances are they would tell you there was a method to their madness. In hopes to assuage the American viewing public (the same public that helped "Narnia" top the $250 million mark), Academy voters (the same voters that gave Michael Moore an Oscar) chose the film with racial themes that would've shaken your grandma up in the '60s, but by today's standards seem about as genial as those in "Driving Miss Daisy." \nAnyone who's seen "Crash" has no doubt about what writer/director Paul Haggis was telling you as he attempted to shed every ounce of his white guilt. His message of "we're all racist people with the capacity to change, if only for a little while" is about as subtle as a kick in the stones, and only makes us wish he would've taken a page from other films that have handled racial issues so much more adroitly. \nSpike Lee's "Do the Right Thing" and Tony Kaye's "American History X" are textbook examples that Haggis should've examined -- where racism isn't beaten over our heads and we're reminded that people have the capacity for permanent change, yet so rarely does anyone do the right thing.\nHaggis' hyperlinked weaving of his cast throughout the mean streets of Los Angeles has been done bolder and better by filmmakers the Academy chose to ignore. Robert Altman's "Short Cuts" was infinitely more interesting than "Crash;" Paul Thomas Anderson holds the crown for crafting the best L.A. character mosaic, "Magnolia." No matter which way you turn, "Crash" has been done better in countless films -- each of them expertly juggling racism and a plethora of other controversial issues.\nCould "Crash" have been made a better film actually worthy of its Oscar? Of course. All films (with some possible exceptions) could be improved with the benefit of hindsight, and one could endlessly quibble about whether or not the cast of "Crash" was worthy of the SAG award, especially after featuring tired archetypes such as the bad cop, the thug gangster, the foreign shopkeeper and the bitchy housewife.\nThe one aspect that could've been changed to make it a better film is the one aspect it relies upon most: its heavy-handed finger-wagging at the public about our innate racist tendencies. This moral worked to poignant effect in films like "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" (released when public facilities were still labeled White or Colored), but in 2005 it just seems like lukewarm table scraps. With all its unrealistic banter ("Hey Ma, I'm sleeping with a white girl.") and race-card statistics, perhaps a "Crash" TV mini-series would've made more sense -- yet it still would've pulled punches. In the real world racism is a loaded gun, not one filled with blanks.\nSo was "Crash" the year's best film? No. Just consult the Golden Globes, the Independent Spirit Awards, the American Film Institute, the British Academy Awards, the Broadcast Film Critics Association, the Berlin Film Festival and the Film Critics Circles of New York, Los Angeles ("Crash's" own city!), San Francisco or Dallas. They'll tell you different, as will the dozen other films that should've filled "Crash's" slot as a Best Picture nominee. Whether it be a portrait of small-town violence, the colonization of Jamestown, a giant gorilla, a Depression-era pugilist or a bored Marine in the desert, 2005 was full of real contenders that were overlooked in favor of a two-hour sugar-coated lesson on race relations. \nDo us a favor, though. When you're walking through Best Buy a year or so from now and you see someone snatch a copy of "Crash" out of the $5.99 bargain bin, save them the cash by letting them know that we're all just a little bit racist, and if we try really, really hard we can overcome it -- then hand them a copy of "Brokeback Mountain"