Saying 'no' to engagement chicken

I love to cook. I love it even more when I don't have to do it.\nLuckily, I don't live in an era where such domestic talents are a woman's main value. That notion is a thing of the past. \nYet, Glamour magazine doesn't think so. In this year's March issue, a reader named Laura wrote in to share her success with a previously published Glamour recipe, called "Engagement Chicken," which she paired with her recipe of "Hook Him Apple Pie." \nAccording to the letter and Glamour, these recipes serve to entice a man to propose to his girlfriend, the cook. My jaw dropped when I read this.\nAre the editors of Glamour serious? The antiquated cliché that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach needs to go out of style for good. Cooking a meal for someone you love is one thing. But it is a completely different thing to expect someone to decide to spend the rest of his life with you based on the quality of your servitude -- especially based on a recipe. In the article on the Glamour Web site, the now-husband of one of the women who "successfully" cooked the Engagement Chicken said, "It's a meal your wife would make. It got me thinking."\nThat got me thinking. The recipes suggest that women should rely on domesticity to find a committed relationship. This is perplexing. If you want commitment, just have a conversation about it with your partner. This is a progressive era and there is no reason to resort to such stifling concepts, especially in relationships.\nFurthermore, if the future of a relationship relies on domestic performance, please rethink it. This reminds me of "The Rules," a book which advises women to play hard-to-get and let men take control in order to "secure" a marriage proposal. How old- fashioned and anti-feminist is that?\nOn a recent "Everybody Loves Raymond" rerun, Marie was angry with Debra for cooking a fabulous braciole. Apparently, Marie's proudest cooking memory was making that dish for Frank, before they married. His response was, "be my bride." Marie said it was the best meal she ever made.\nAs this fictitious event happened in 1955, it doesn't surprise me. But 51 years later, it does. It's insulting that my worth to my partner could boil down to the meals I cook for him. That would be the end of the relationship. Women and men have fought for reproductive rights and workplace, legal and household equity since then. We have made amazing strides in these and other areas so women and men don't have to rely on unhealthy stereotypical gender roles.\nGlamour isn't a progressive magazine. Still, we need to call out backwards ideas like "wifely" recipes no matter where they appear. Neither women nor men should accept these outdated conceptions. Just be yourself and expect your partner to do the same. That's a great recipe for happiness.