Strength to move on

During the winter break, the Indianapolis Colts' story took a big shift. No longer was the story about the NFL team trying to beat the 1972 Miami Dolphins' undefeated season record. With the reported suicide of James Dungy, oldest son of Colts head coach Tony Dungy, the story shifted into a somber tone.\nAnalysts on every station, -- ESPN, CNN, Fox News, etc. -- were all discussing the impact of such a tragic loss on such a respected man as Tony Dungy, a devout Christian who spent much of his free time with his charity "All Pro Dad" to promote better fatherhood.\nIt was understandably the NFL's top story and they wanted to discuss the impact.\nThis isn't a sports column. I'm not going to give you my take on how this tragedy will motivate the Colts to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs this weekend (although I do expect Peyton to scorch the Steelers at home).\nI'm not going to give you that analysis because I'm not going to pretend I can understand what was going through James Dungy's mind when he decided to kill himself. Nobody can know what he was thinking. Yet, such psychological experts as Bob Costas and John Madden have already given me their diagnosis of James' psyche. I forgot which graduate school Cris Collinsworth received his master's in psychology from.\nThey are all trying to analyze what could have driven James to such an act. They have all discussed what they think Tony Dungy's reaction will be. All the while, they have made assumptions about all people who have committed suicide and the families around them. They have assumed that there is a cry for help or a need for attention. The truth is that not all suicide victims have the same problems, the same motives or the same thoughts going through their heads. Unless you knew James Dungy, and most likely even if you did, you can't pretend to know what was going through his mind.\nI spent a few years volunteering at a suicide hotline, but I don't pretend to be an expert on suicide. What I did notice and find interesting is that upon learning the symptoms of a suicidal person, most people assume that all suicidal people must display every symptom. Or they assume that if someone who is depressed has one or a few of the symptoms of suicide, then they must be suicidal. The answers just aren't that easy and many experts have spent years wondering how certain patients ended up committing suicide. Is their mental health all in victims' hands or is the family responsible? These are tough questions and we can't even pretend to know the answers.\nWhat kind of lesson can be obtained from James Dungy's story? Some say that the media over-reported on the story, which could lead others to copy-cat the act for media attention. We here at the Indiana Daily Student had to consider such ideas two years ago when a student fell from Briscoe in a possible suicide shortly after another student jumped from Ballantine Hall. Again, I don't pretend to be an expert, but most real experts will tell you that people usually don't commit suicide to have their name in the paper. There were other issues at play for a long time.\nI think the best lesson that can be taken from this comes from Tony Dungy himself, who used his strong Christian faith to guide him through this tough time. He told the media after returning to the team, "More than anything, I had to make a statement that, if I'm a Christian, if I feel like God is in control of my future, I've got to move on, as tough as it is."\nThat's all any of us can do when such a tragedy happens. We move on and we don't take the people we love for granted. We cherish the people around us every day.