An open note to Hollywood

January is almost over, but it's never too late for New Year's resolutions. Here's what Hollywood should consider trying in 2006.\nFirst, can we get rid of those unrated edition DVDs of R-rated movies? They're only like two minutes longer and not any funnier.\nLet's also get rid of celebrity couple name combinations. "Bennifer" made sense, but "Bradgelina" and "Vauniston" is overkill. Until we figure out a way to combine my name and Lindsay Lohan's, these celebrity blends need to stop. And speaking of Hollywood's fantastic four ... Brad and Angelina, don't give the baby a weird name, but do give it up for adoption. Brad, yes, you've been dying to be a dad, but that's going be one damn good looking kid, and once it's older it'll be a famous star like Mommy and Daddy. It won't be fair to poor Maddox and Zaharah. What are they supposed to do when youngest sibling is winning an Oscar and they're still the rescued orphans wanting to hang onto Mommy's breasts during a publicity shot? \nAnd as for you Jen, it's already been a year since the split, and we're still on team Aniston, but 2005 was supposed to be your year at the box office, and both your films barely made $40 million. Pathetic. Hopefully "The Break Up" helps your slump, but the problem is, you're still Rachel. And that's not a bad thing, everyone loves Rachel, so start a business where people pay you to come to their parties pretending to be her. Vince, keep up with the funny and maybe make a normal resolution, like to quit smoking.\nThe American public should vow to watch "Arrested Development." But no matter how many critics tell you to, you just won't listen. Showtime, you'd better save the show from cancellation. That's not advice, it's a threat. Also, I ask for audiences to shift their attention to other great rating challenged shows such as "The Office," "Scrubs," "The Comeback" and "Kitchen Confidential." The last two were already cancelled? Damn.\nPeter Jackson, keep on doing what you're doing. I was like a six-year-old wetting myself with excitement while watching "King Kong." I can't remember the last time I was that entertained; perhaps it was back in 2003 during "The Return of the King."\nWhen filming the "Narnia" sequel, "Prince Caspian," don't be afraid to get violent. Every time an awesome battle was about to start, the film wimped out and switched scenes. PG-13 didn't hurt business for "Star Wars" or "Harry Potter," so let's step it up.\nHeath Ledger, people respect you now, don't screw that up. Take more risky roles, but don't go over the top, you're not Johnny Depp yet.\nJ.K. Rowling, writing the last Harry Potter book will be an arduous task, but please don't kill Harry. There's obviously not going to be a happy ending, but it's not right to kill him for the sake of not having to write any more sequels. We've already lost so many beloved characters, if another needs to die at least make it, um, you know what? A happy ending sounds just fine.\nTom and Katie, where to begin ... seek therapeutic help. Oh, right, sensitive subject.\nDakota Fanning, time for you to go on a five year hiatus so we don't have to witness your awkward looking years, then come back as an experienced, respected teen.\nIt's graduation year for the cast of "The OC." Guys, you need to make the right, not easiest, college choice. Ryan, you're doing the right thing by choosing Berkley and staying close to the Cohen casa. Seth, you need to go to the East Coast where people will finally realize how cool your dorkiness is, don't let your man-crush for Ryan and sudden fondness for Newport stop this. Summer, you're no East Coast snow-bunny, go party in Arizona like you initially wanted. A long-distance relationship with Cohen will be hard, but entertaining for viewers. Marissa, college? Keep dreaming. \nWinona Ryder, make a movie please. We miss you.\nJin from "Lost," isn't it about time you learned English? Aren't you tired of only being able to communicate with your wife? Sure, everybody's going to be busy training for Jack's army against The Others, but somebody has to be willing to teach you.\nKelly Clarkson, make more "American Idol" appearances. You've completely dissed your "Idol" roots (understandable, considering the "From Justin to Kelly" fiasco), but you owe the fans that made you a star. Two appearances won't hurt your newly established street cred. You don't even have to speak, just rock out to "Because of You" on a result show, that way if this year's contestants suck, viewers have something to enjoy.\nWell, that's it. The chances of these people listening are less than the odds that "Brokeback Mountain" being shut out of the Oscar race, but only 2006 will tell.