Hoosiers need to take a 'Stant'

I'm done with this. \nYou can call these past two weeks a hangover for the Hoosiers. But whatever it's been, don't call them moral victories. Moral victories are for the kid chosen last in a pick-up basketball game.\nCome Saturday, when IU faces Michigan State at Spartan Stadium, there better be a fire lit up the backside of the Hoosier players that is so big it'll be able to save the people from "Lost."\n"But Mister Playin' It Shaffe," you might ask, "why are you so upset?" Well, it is because I know they can win. You might wonder why I expect so much from a team that is putting on its training wheels against a Tour de France lineup represented by the entire Big Ten. \nWell, my loyal reader, I am mad. I am steaming, piping, Hep- versus-the-Hawkeyes mad. I feel like someone slept with my sister, ate my Jimmy John's sandwich and just as a measure of good taste, gave my face the R. Kelly treatment while I was sleeping. Really -- it gives the words "good taste" a whole new meaning. \nThis Hoosier team is good, and it has the potential to be great. So great, in fact, that it can win out the rest of its schedule. I know you think I might have gone to a local IU fraternity, grabbed a handful of roofies, swallowed and started writing this column -- which would explain the pee taste in my mouth, I guess -- but I haven't. \nIt all begins Saturday. IU faces a tough but morale-beaten Michigan State squad it can beat. Both IU and MSU are 4-3. Both teams are 1-3 in the Big Ten. Both teams have an offense that has performed better than its defense. Both offenses looked lousy in the previous week's game. Both schools are looking for the yellow brick road that leads them to Bowl City. Both schools are two wins away from eligibility.\nBoth teams are hungry for a win, which is why IU must become Fat Albert. \nThe problem, of course, lies in the fact that MSU has a terrific offense. But really it has a terrific quarterback. All year, Drew Stanton has been the lifeline for the Spartan's Millionaire Bowl hopes. So far this season in the Big Ten, Stanton is first with a 168.47 quarterback rating and second in yards with 2,040. He leads a school ranked first in the conference in yards per game (552.7) and second in points per game (38). \nBut here are the tails to their Spartan heads. Last week, Stanton threw three interceptions, including two in the end zone. The Spartan defense ranks in the bottom half of the Big Ten in yards and points allowed Their field goal kicker, John Goss, missed two kicks and has been replaced on the bench this Saturday by a freshman. \nMy fellow Hoosiers, it is time to take a "Stant". And it starts with IU linebacker John Pannozzo on Stanton's face. \nI am all out of optimism, and it might seem like my Hoosier-ific vehicle is running on fumes of false hopes. But I know that this ordinary team, even in Hep's first season, is capable of extraordinary things.\nThus, I have thrown down the proverbial gauntlet. I cannot say a victory in East Lansing will be easy or even likely. But it can be done. With an offense running on all cylinders and a defensive "Stant", the Hoosiers could be 5-3.