Dude, I think I need a thesaurus

Oh my gosh. Like ... you know" \nNo, actually, I don't. \nAnd I'm not sure if anyone does. \nAs the product of a generation that grew up watching "Saved by the Bell," "The Simpsons" and MTV, I naturally have had a bit of difficulty clearly expressing myself from time to time.\nBut, as a member of the speech team in high school, I prided myself on my skill to speak concisely and effectively. And since I won various forensic awards throughout high school, I never deeply contemplated my ability to speak off the podium in regular impromptu, everyday conversation. \nHowever, a year in London quickly humbled me, squashing any speck of arrogance left over from high school. \nThen again, maybe it's relative. I never noticed this inability to clearly express myself before I spent a year amid posh, proper British folk at the London School of Economics. Discussing colonialism, nationalism and a variety of other intellectual "isms" I didn't even know existed, I realized the depth of my verbal communication incapacity. \nWide-eyed, I sat stupefied in class as a political science professor lectured about how to write an essay, carefully selecting the perfect words to convey his thoughts. He spoke in verbal analogies -- a foreign concept in itself. \n"Dude," I thought, "I have lost my articulateness -- if I ever had it to begin with."\nSince I didn't spend much time with fellow Americans during my year in London, I didn't initially realize the magnitude of this language crisis. It was only while waiting in line for the pay phone one night in my international dorm when I realized I was not the sole victim of inarticulateness. For half an hour, I impatiently waited, listening to a fellow college student describe her day to her mother. Yet I couldn't even eavesdrop properly because her conversation, complete with "likes," "ums," and "you knows," was incomprehensible to the normal person. I'm not sure how her mother even understood her. \nAfter a summer back in the United States, I began to understand how deeply this speech sickness has invaded our generation. I speak out of genuine distress about our futures. I don't convey these concerns as a sort of language snob. I'm no Henry Higgins from "My Fair Lady," attempting to transform an uncouth student into a duchess. \nHow will we communicate with coworkers, interview officials or conduct meetings unless we learn how to speak properly? Some may call it linguistic elitism, and maybe it is. But the ability to speak effectively is of crucial importance in every aspect of our lives. It's one of the sole determinants between living in the midst of mediocrity the rest of your life and having the power to be taken seriously in every step of your career from a college internship to a corporate executive. \nI suppose I shouldn't ceaselessly complain about this conundrum unless I can offer a sliver of a solution. Reading more -- whether it's The New York Times, your history book or The Economist -- should help. But reading comprehension isn't the root of the problem, so listening to a daily dose of National Public Radio or even taking two seconds to think before we speak might be more effective.\nRegardless, dudes and dudettes, don't stress too much about a solution. If all else fails, we can resort to carrying pocket thesauruses.