Can I quote you on that?

The American Film Institute has put to paper what it considers to be the 100 greatest movie quotes of all times. \nWhat a load of hooey. (Can I say "hooey" in a newspaper? I can? Good.)\nI say this not only because I get baffled every time the AFI tries to pin something down, but because I feel ultimately qualified to say so. I live my life as a continual hunt for instant messenger away messages, and when I watch movies, my ear is uniquely tuned to listen for quotes. I know my quotes. \nAt any rate, I can't believe they tried to make a list of movie quotes. The AFI's criteria was "A statement, phrase or brief exchange of dialogue spoken in an American film." They judged on cultural impact and legacy, and I'm guessing, snappiness of wording and general grooviness. But really? A list of the best quotes? Do you realize the breadth of possible choices? Technically, every line in every American movie had to be considered. How can you possibly consider the choices? \nAnd I do realize that the AFI is doing the best quotes of the last 100 years, but doesn't the time span seem a little ridiculous? A hundred years ago, simply seeing a picture -- that was actually moving -- was cause for celebration, let alone hoping for dialogue that would enter the cultural vernacular.\nI think it's crazy to try and equate quotes from "Top Gun" and "Jerry Maguire" with those from "Casablanca." On that note, I will give the AFI one thing: They appropriately appreciated "Casablanca." What a fabulous movie, and what fabulous quotes. But I think it's silly to assume that a quote from the movie "She Done Him Wrong" in 1933 (a movie I hadn't heard of until I started researching this column) has the lasting impact on cultural vernacular as one from a film like "ET." \nA list of the best movies of the last 100 years is a little less subjective than a list of the best 100 quotes. With whole films, there are generally agreed-upon standards. As the viewing public, we can generally agree that "Citizen Kane" had more artistic merit than "Mean Girls." We can agree that as far as advancing the art of filmmaking goes, "Star Wars" did more than "A League of Their Own." When we're considering a whole movie, it's much, much easier to be objective, and realize that even if a movie didn't touch your soul, it's still a good movie. (On the flip side, it's also easier to realize that the movie that just moved you to tears and changed your life may possibly be a piece of cinematic crap.) \nBut quotes? Totally subjective. The way a string of words falls on a viewer's ear and touches their heart and lingers in their memory is simply a matter of personal experience, just as it was to the judges who composed this list. Except in the case of this list, I think they may have hit the crack pipe before they considered their personal experience. But really, a list that rated "There's no place like home" as the 23rd best quote of the last 100 years? I just have a problem taking them seriously.\nAnd of the quotes in any given movie, how do you pick the ones that warranted entry onto a list? "Casablanca" has seven entries on the list -- more than any other film. So why does "Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By'" rate higher than "We'll always have Paris"? \nI guess my suggestion, at this point, is to simply stop. My advice to list-makers, especially the American Film Institute, is to keep your audience in mind. The intended audience of this list was every filmgoer, ever. A list of the funniest quotes in the last 20 years? Good idea. A list of the funniest things ever said by Will Ferrell on-screen? Mediocre idea. A list of the best quotes in any American movie of any genre made at any point in the last 100 years? Bad idea.