Werewolf thriller really a dog

There are times when you hear a movie sucks, you see said movie and not only does it suck -- it sucks and blows. "Cursed" is one such execrable piece of crap posing as cinema. Plagued with re-shoots, release delays and other assorted problems, "Cursed" wears its tarnished pedigree like a scarlet letter. This is unfortunate, as it's the latest and lamest effort of one-time horror maestro Wes Craven ("Scream," "A Nightmare on Elm Street"). \nJesse Eisenberg and Christina Ricci star as brother and sister duo Ellie and Jimmy. One night, while cruising home on Mulholland Drive, they hit an animal which winds up being a werewolf. The accident forces them and another driver (Shannon Elizabeth, furthering her career death knell) off the road. An ensuing attack kills the "American Pie" starlet's character and leaves the siblings "Cursed" ... or so they say numerous times throughout the "film." Any time a movie's title is repeatedly referenced it's often a bad omen. \nAlso thrown into the monster mix are Jake (Joshua Jackson of "Dawson's Creek" fame -- an actor I sadly like), Ellie's club owner boyfriend; Joanie (Judy Greer, so good on "Arrested Development" and so bad here), Scott Baio's high-strung agent and Ellie's nemesis as well as the man, the myth, the legend himself -- Mr. Scott Baio (unconvincingly playing himself). Joanie may have well loved Chachi, but Baio should hate his real-life agent for saddling him with this suckage. Being unemployed would beat the pants off appearing in this pap.\nThe recently released DVD of "Cursed" comes in two formats: the PG-13 theatrical cut and a home video-only unrated edition. If you're a sadomasochist and insist upon seeing one of them I'd recommend the unrated cut -- this way you'll be able to see a character have his neck meat chewed out and the geyser of blood that ensues. \nThe DVD's bonus features are almost as turgid as this turd of a movie. "Behind the Fangs: The Making of Cursed," at a whopping seven minutes, gives viewers no real sense of what it was like to make the film. Production problems aren't chronicled and the creative (I use this word loosely) team's self-congratulatory comments come off as comical in wake of seeing the movie. "Creature Editing 101" focuses on a vocation which often doesn't get enough credit -- that of the editor. Patrick Lussier, editor of "Cursed," should've done us all a favor and burnt the footage. \nIf you're a horror movie junkie, go catch "Land of the Dead" instead of renting this cinematic shit sandwich. If you absolutely must see a werewolf flick try "An American Werewolf in London" -- it's only about 3000 times better than "Cursed," a movie so bad it should be avoided like syphilis.