The feeble empire

After his team's dismal 4-8 start, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner felt it necessary to let his team know that its struggles would not be tolerated. Yeah, that's the way to motivate a bunch of overpaid underachievers -- piss them off and completely alienate them. But what do I care, I hate the Yankees. \nOK, I shouldn't say I hate the Yankees because I don't want to single them out. I really hate all New York sports teams but all for different, totally unrelated issues. There is just something about the teams inhabiting the Big Apple that really drives me nuts and I know I'm not alone.\nI mean I can't be the only one who is irked by the fact that there are three NFL teams from the state of New York, and the only one that actually plays in New York is the Buffalo Bills. Anyone else ever wonder about that? Here are a few of the reasons I hate New York's beloved teams.\nWhy do I hate the Jets? \nFor the same reason I can't stand Veronica on the "Real World/Road Rules Challenge." She looks great at first glance, but as the season wears on there's always way too much drama surrounding her, and she never performs like you think she should. So, you expect her to be eliminated as a result of the cat-fight and lack of effort but somehow she ends up in the finals every time. How the Jets made the playoffs this past season is beyond me, but if I have to see Chad Pennington or Herman Edwards lecture the media again I'm going to toss my TV out the window and send them the repair bill.\nWhy do I hate the Giants?\nTwo words: Eli Manning.\nThe Mets?\nAs far as the Mets go, I don't truly hate them; I pity them. They spend way too much money on players who are either past their prime (Mo Vaughn) or never end up having one (Victor Zambrano, Steve Trachsel).\nLast and absolutely not least, the New York Yankees.\nI hate the Yankees for so many reasons I don't even know where to begin. So, here are just a few of the main things that irk me about the Punks in Pinstripes. \nThey give ridiculous contracts to players I can't stand. They added a roided-up Jason Giambi, they got Kevin Brown in a trade but neglected to acquire his health from the Dodgers, they rented Javier Vasquez for a year and then they added Alex Rodriguez who has now departed two teams that have both gone from bottom feeders to pennant contenders once he left town, coincidence? \nI hate them because with their $200 million payroll they could sign every player on the Brewers, Pirates, Devil Rays and Royals opening day rosters and still have about $20 million to play with. \nThen there's Gary Sheffield, the fan-shoving, mid-season meltdown-prone star of the New York soap opera. Seems like wherever Sheffield ends up, something bad happens. Really I don't care about the incident with the Red Sox fan. I probably would have done the same thing given the situation. But my real problem with Sheffield is that he, like Giambi, admitted to using steroids during the BALCO hearings but somehow has managed to escape scrutiny. Why does he get a free pass? Is it because he was an MVP candidate last year? \nBut, of course, there's one thing about the Yankees that makes my skin crawl more than anything else -- George "The Boss" Steinbrenner. He and that glorified lap-dog Brian Cashman are simply adding huge contracts and forgetting the most important aspect of team sports: chemistry beats talent every day of the week. And I blame Cashman as much George; he's No. 2 to Steinbrenner's Dr. Evil. Maybe the team's awful start this year will send a clear signal to the Yankees' management and make them change their ways. Yeah, that's likely to happen.\nBut hey, if they miss the playoffs, maybe they'll finally wake up in the city that never sleeps -- I want to be a part of it.