Spring break hierarchy

Spring break is a time of rest, relaxation and humiliation.\nIf you've ever had to stay at home during break when your friends are "living the vida loca" down in Mexico, you probably know what I mean. Every year, for the two weeks prior to vacation, the question "Where are you going for break?" is asked repetitively. Consequently, some people are forced to sulk in shame while uttering the embarrassing confession, "I'm staying at home."\nAs I have recently come to realize, our society appears to have an unspoken "spring break hierarchy." This vacation-caste system lets us know not only where we stand in the rankings of society, but the rankings of college coolness. The quality of our vacation destination is equally proportional to how cool we are considered by our peers.\nThis social ladder has four main rungs; the top rung is comprised of the promiscuous Cancun-ers. For those unaware of this terminology, Cancun-ers are the wild-n'-crazy freak dancers who travel all the way to Mexico, leaving their homeland, and inhibitions, far behind. They party for six days straight, coming back at the end of the week with both a bright red burn and possibly an exotic new venereal disease. This is considered the caviar of vacations. \nThe second rung is designated for the beach-bumming Floridians. These are the people who, along with the rest of the Midwest, migrate to the phallic-shaped state of Florida to sizzle like Canadian bacon in the sun. Although not as cool as the Cancun-ers, these bronzers are very high on the ladder.\nNow, taking a drastic leap toward the bottom of the hierarchy, we have family vacationers, the unlucky souls forced to travel with their parents to see the most boring places on Earth. You have probably been on this rung at some time in your life. \nYour parents take you to see something lame like "The World's Largest Jar" and start reading various jar brochures. After viewing the gigantic jar, your dad says something really obvious like, "Damn, that's a big jar," and then everyone begins buying overpriced shot glasses and amethyst chunks at the Jar gift shop, which has some stupid title like "Once Upon a Jar." Before you exit, everyone takes a funny photograph with their head sticking out of the hole in the cardboard jar cutout. When it comes to the caste, these vacationers are close to last.\nHowever, as sad as this vacation might be, there is still one category more unpopular: the stay-at-homers. These vacationers will spend the entire week playing with their dogs, text messaging their votes for Carrie Underwood on American Idol and, of course, judging people on TheFacebook.\nAfter examining the different types of vacationers, however, I can't help but wonder: Why does it really matter where we go? Why is there a pressing desire to go to exotic destinations, drink massive quantities of alcohol and have a "cool" vacation story?\nThree letters explain it all: M-T-V. \nOur generation regards MTV as the college survival guide, which seems to brainwash young adults into thinking that to look cool, you have to mimic what you see other college co-eds are doing on television. Our vacation caste system is influenced by what is portrayed in the media as the "happening hot spots."\nWho's to say, though, that getting hammered on some beach is any cooler than staying home and playing Scrabble? \nSo if you're a stay-at-homer this year, don't dwell in your social inferiority. Because while those of a higher caste might be drinking their booze on a cruise, ain't no shame in just catching some snooze.