Why are you famous?

Celebrities have always been at the top of the American social structure. Since the advent of the entertainment industry, people with the ability to entertain have been rewarded with fame and fortune. Whether they are famous for their acting abilities, their musical talent or their artistic aptitudes, creative contributions to society are in such high demand that the American people are willing to pay millions of dollars a year to be entertained.\nHowever, in recent years, it seems that America has become bored with talent. Instead of focusing the attention on creativity, we have become obsessed with people who have excelled at nothing but wasting space. These people are famous for, well, I guess nobody really knows exactly what they're famous for.\nParis Hilton has made a career out of America's obsession with useless people. Originally famous for being the daughter of hotel chain owner Rick Hilton, who is famous for being wealthy, she has made several failed attempts at creativity. From writing to acting to starring in her very own porno, Hilton has repeatedly proven that she has absolutely nothing to offer. We hate her, but by hating her we only add fuel to her fame.\nShe and her sidekick, Nicole Ritchie (who appears to have something badly broken in her face), made their mark on the blink-and-you'll-miss-it trend of reality TV with "The Simple Life." Reality television, the invention responsible for most of today's useless celebrities, has spawned its own category. "American Idol" offered a record label to Clay Aiken and forced all of us to hear show choir singing on the radio. Aiken's uselessness, however, pales in comparison to that of William Hung, who became a celebrity for his lack of talent. Numerous marriage-based reality TV shows helped countless women with no skills achieve their dreams of being in Playboy centerfolds. Reality TV became a contest within a contest: who could extend their 15 minutes of fame by being the biggest jackass? \nWhile these "famous for being famous" celebrities are trendier than ever today, they have actually been around for decades. Perhaps the oldest form is the celebrity who has based a career on being obnoxious. Roseanne, a pioneer in the field, garnered public attention for numerous annoying stunts, including her godawful, off-key rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" in 1990, which she topped off by grabbing her crotch and spitting. Her disgraceful display led to public outrage, but the fact that people, including me, are still talking about it suggests just how successful it was as a publicity technique. It also proves that this breed of celebrity is particularly gifted when it comes to getting noticed.\nAlso included in this category is the infamous Carrot Top. His few attempts at movies failed miserably, and most people can agree that he is not funny, and yet he continues to be a recognizable figure in pop culture. He has made a career out of being bad at his job.\nRosie O'Donnell, the original professional lesbian, blazed the trail for other celebrities who have gained notoriety based solely on their sexual orientation. The five hosts of the popular HGTV show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" became famous for making over men who lacked fashion sense. Of course, America accepted that they were qualified to do so because, hey, they're gay. They must have impeccable fashion sense. They also managed to set back the gay rights movement with their "metrosexual" revolution by making it popular for men to "dress gay."\nPerhaps the most disturbing category is celebrities who are famous simply because they're completely insane. America watched Anna Nicole Smith, once famous for being a gold digger, as she slowly killed herself with bon bons and barbiturates on "The Anna Nicole Smith Show." Instead of having her committed, we morbidly awaited the "Anna Nicole Overdose Special." Sadly, she recently exchanged depressants for over-the-counter speed and became the spokesmodel for the diet pill, "Trim Spa."\nThe question is: why does America continue to allow these people a spot in the limelight? Is it that we're relieved to know that there are people in the world who can be so successful at wasting space? Or do we simply keep them around for the humor factor?\nLike most celebrities, people who are famous for being famous are actually nothing without an audience. They complain about us for watching them while they shout, "Look at me! Look at me!" In response, we tell them to go away while we continue to watch. It's a vicious cycle that can only be stopped if we just refuse to pay attention. \nThen again, that probably sounds a little hypocritical coming from me.