You dress like a white girl

"You dress like a white girl" was a phrase my friends and I grew up hearing again and again. It was nerve-wracking to grow up feeling so isolated from the Latinas and the Bonanas (black girls) in my home town because of the way I talk and the way I look. Growing up, my black and Latin friends were from private and boarding schools. We all came from really conservative families with parents that were doctors, lawyers, superintendents and businessmen. So our style of dress was a lot different from what many people see blacks and Latina women wearing in videos and on TV. \nFor many of us, dressing conservatively was not a choice. My brothers were never allowed to walk out of the house wearing pants that hung off their butts. My sisters and I were not allowed to wear make-up or revealing clothes. I was taught to dress like a lady, and my brothers were taught to dress like gentlemen. Everyone in our social circle dressed that way whether you were white, black, Asian or Latina. \nSo imagine my surprise when a co-worker came into the newsroom and asked "Why do all black guys wear white shirts down to their knees with pants that hang off their butts?" Immediately, I said "not all black guys dress that way," To which he said, "All the black guys where I come from look like that." I thought to myself, "Are you sure that is all you see? Are you sure you're not just seeing what you want to see?"\nI don't know any black guys who dress that way. I don't hang out with black guys who dress that way, but I can understand where he was coming from. On television and on videos, blacks and Latinos seem to always be wearing some form of hip-hop gear. If a black woman is considered to be a fashionista, she either looks like 'Lil Kim or she is a singer who is pictured wearing something similar to what a Vegas show girl would wear. The sight is disheartening. \nWhen Recently Suede, a new black fashion magazine, hit the stands, I was reluctant to pick it up. I figured it would be like all the other black fashion magazines -- full of black women wearing red and purple suits with absolutely little to no flair. Even worse, it would be like the fashion pages inside of Ebony magazine (don't even get me started on the fashion in Ebony). \nA couple of nights ago, I opened up the pages of Suede and breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, a magazine that didn't pigeonhole black women into the diva or the bland, purple suit-wearing business woman. \nAs I talked with my friends about it, I found they felt the same way. As we flipped through the pages, we came across Alicia Keys, who is normally pictured wearing some kind of ghetto gear. She was pictured wearing several ballgowns. Then we flipped a little further, and there was an article titled "To be Young, Gifted and Paige." It featured Paige Johnson, the daughter of the co--founders of Black Entertainment Television, whose fortunes put her ahead of the Hilton sisters and the Olsen twins. More importantly, she is a champion equestrian rider and a fashionista. She was featured in the magazine wearing brown-toned equestrian gear, girlish sweaters and long, romantic skirts. It was nice to finally see a magazine that represented the portion of black women who are not slaves to Baby Phat's hoochie gear or the ghetto princess look. \nFinally it was okay to dress the way we wanted to dress, not how we were "supposed to dress." The pages were full of black, Asian and Latin women wearing clothes with flair and being themselves. There was also a profile on Montgomery Harris, a fashion designer out of Harlem who designs stylish clothes that appeal to anyone. Hopefully this is the start of a new trend. Like my friend Erica asked as we ordered clothes from Anthropologie, "Why do we have to want to be white to dress a certain way? Why do we have to be reduced to wearing colorful suits?" So no longer are we offended by the "You dress like a white girl" comment because, for the record, we don't. We dress like women who want to be successful and stylish without being featured in a hip hop video.