The FCC won't let me be

It appears the remnants of last year's Super Bowl halftime show fiasco are still affecting the entertainment industry. Who would've thought Janet Jackson's left tit would cause so much fuss? Well, at least negative fuss. \nThe FCC has responded with extreme vigor, going off its rocker several times in fining television and radio stations for what are often minor infractions. Punishments such as these make me question the First Amendment. If speech is not entirely free, which to me means without restriction, exactly what are the limits on freedom of speech? I'd really like this question answered soon because next week I plan on saying "fuck" on national television. \nHow can someone tell Howard Stern, who over the years has been hit hard with FCC fines, he can't use the words "ass" or "shit" on his radio program? Without the use of words to describe the nude female body, Stern's powers of humor are essentially rendered useless. \nStern has been one of the more consistent targets of FCC fines. His broadcast company Infinity has been slapped with countless fines, two just this year, which are often the result of a lewd comment or foul language used by Stern. In one instance, Stern was explaining the definition of the word "blumpkin." According to FCC transcripts, Stern's definition of the word is: "Receiving oral sex while you're sitting on a toilet bowl, if you're a man." That definition cost Infinity $27,500, the maximum FCC fine allowed for a radio station. \nFor the second fine this year resulting from Howard Stern's actions, the FCC fined Infinity on a "per utterance" basis (the first time this has ever been done), meaning a fine was imposed for each expletive. Also, multiple affiliates carrying Stern's show were fined even though the complaint was made regarding a single station (first time this has happened). The total amount of fines: $495,000. The FCC clearly enjoys and respects Stern's quality radio programming; isn't it obvious? \nDue to the rigid restrictions on freedom of speech in radio, Stern announced that he would be leaving Infinity Radio in favor of Sirius Satellite Radio in a year-and-a-half when his contract expires. The new station will give him the freedom he so desires and probably save Infinity quite a chunk of change. \nThis past week the FOX network was fined $1.18 million for decency violations: airing graphic scenes during the show "Married by America." The episode in question featured shots of single men and women licking whipped cream off each other's bodies during a time in which children may have been watching. The FCC's fine, which has been spread over 169 FOX stations ($7,000 per station), is the biggest fine for a television station in FCC history, and it is more than double the fine imposed on CBS for Janet Jackson's boob surprise. \nSome viewers, mostly parents of younger children who were also the individuals responsible for the investigation after several complaints were filed, believe the fine was far too lenient. The FCC is allowed to fine individual stations up to a maximum of $32,500, and in extreme instances the government branch can suspend stations' licenses. Two years ago an Akron, Ohio radio station was fined $7,000 when an unnamed guest from the show "Jackass" told a dead baby joke.\nRadio talk shows on stations in Detroit, Mich. and Washington, D.C. as well as the nationally syndicated "Opie & Anthony Show" have all been fined for discussing sexual practices on the air between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. \nYou have seen the facts. Clearly the FCC is getting more and more strict with time. This is odd considering that America and its citizens/politicians often talk about becoming more accepting of issues they may not disagree with and not with limiting our rights but expanding them. \nI can understand where the FCC is coming from to a point. They receive complaints from angry parents on a daily basis every time a kid is exposed to something that may not be "wholesome." But I got news for these parents: television and radio aren't meant to be wholesome. They are businesses intent on attracting as wide an audience as possible, and if sex sells, they will talk about sex. \nFining Howard Stern isn't going to make broadcasting squeaky clean. First, Stern isn't even responsible for forking over the money, so he doesn't care. Second of all, he wouldn't change his show even if he did have to pay the fines. That's who he is, and that's what he does. \nMaybe shows sometimes do cross the line, but it's only words. If people don't like it, they don't have to pay attention. But don't take away my poop jokes on morning radio; it's all I got.