Electoral College dropouts

The hoopla over the presidential elections sank into the "you can't make that shit up" category years ago, but every four years, it manages to get worse. In the midst of the confusion, chaos and outrage, all I know is that this drama is somehow centered around an American institution called the Electoral College.\nSay what you will about the "winner-take-all" Electoral College system, but there is only one thing that matters: We stand fanatically behind this system because it is part of the American spirit to be a poor loser.\nFor example, look at Coloradans Against a Really Stupid Idea. They're leading the fight against splitting up Colorado's electoral votes based on the percentages of popular votes won by a candidate. So, for example, if 51 percent of Colorado's voters choose Bush, and 49 percent side with Kerry, the incumbent will win five out of that state's nine electoral votes, and Kerry will take four.\nNow, most people I've talked to over the past eight years tend to agree that something like this is a really smart idea, not a really stupid one. But according to the Rocky Mountain News, these Coloradans believe that splitting up the electoral votes fairly will lead candidates to ignore the Centennial State and instead focus on other states that offer to give them all their electoral votes.\nIn other words, sucking up to politicians is more important than fairly representing the voice of the people. Why not offer them a foot rub and a blow job to go with their electoral votes? Is anyone confused about who's really stupid?\nFor the rest of us struggling to escape the wiles of the Electoral College, the Internet offers us another option. At www.votepair.org, you can "trade your vote" with someone from another state. If you live in a battleground state like Ohio, and you want to vote third-party, you could get someone in a "blue state" like Illinois to vote third-party for you if you vote Kerry for them. This way, your third-party vote is cast in a "safe" place. "United, we can all vote strategically to prevent a Bush presidency and build a progressive majority," the site says.\nOf course, I could tell someone I'll vote for Kerry and then vote for Bush. Their vote would be "punk'd." And I can think of a trash dumpster in Nevada full of torn up registration forms for would-be Democrat voters that says anyone is willing to punk the vote.\nThe more I read about this election, the more I become disenfranchised with my very existence. All the deception and drama ... when neither of the candidates are fit to run this country! My body mass is composed of the same particles of energy as the twits running for office! What does it all mean?!\nSeriously, an election is this: you go to a polling place, and you say, "(Candidate's name here), I choose you!" They say these words on "Pokemon" all the time! How hard can it be?!\nWhat it all comes down to is that if we had three serious presidential candidates, there would still be only one winner and twice as many losers. That means more American voters would feel defeated, and defeat isn't an American virtue, now is it? But if you cower in fear and stand behind one of two candidates, even if they're both a discredit to your intelligence, you have a better chance of not feeling like a loser next Wednesday.\nGrow up, America! This one idea, the Electoral College, is the reason why we have ripped up voter registration forms, destroyed ballots and invented a host of ingenious schemes for democratically screwing over our fellow citizens. It brings out the worst of our humanity every four years. Is this one idea really worth it?