Ugly 'Chicks' make for ugly movie

Imagine you're in the theater. You say to yourself, "I don't care if I did pay eight bucks to see this, I'm leaving now!" Another movie by the name of "White Chicks" joins the pathetic pantheon of flicks you can say this about. The Wayans brothers miss big time with this childish flick, and in more areas than one, let me add. \nMarcus and Kevin Copeland (Marlon and Shawn Wayans) are dimwitted FBI agents. After ruining a stakeout, the two are assigned a less desirable mission. They are to watch the Wilson sisters (an obvious homage to the Hilton heiresses), for they are in danger of being kidnapped. Things get rough for the agents on a calamitous ride home from the airport. A spinout causes small cuts to the sisters' faces, who then decide not to attend the weekend party to which they were being transported. The agents are in fear of losing their jobs unless the girls attend the party. \nSo, the logical thing to do is have Marcus and Kevin dress up like the Wilsons themselves. Sure, it sounds simple. However, the agents get more than they bargained for -- dealing with being hit on by football players and coping with the hardships of being female. \nThis movie is all over the place, resulting in it not making much sense, and in turn, not being very funny. You can try suspending your disbelief in watching this. Nevertheless, you have to wonder who is watching these endangered sisters while the agents are running around New York disguised as women. Apparently, Shawn and Marlon Wayans spent five hours in makeup chairs each day for this production, but they looked just a step above a third-rate wax museum figurine. \nIn spite of having an inane plot, the insipid jokes manage to be worse. Unless, of course, you're into fart jokes or think wiping vomit on someone's face is funny. I am baffled that it took six writers to churn this crap out and not one of them managed to produce a decent joke. The pop humor that worked so well in director Keenen Ivory Wayans' "Scary Movie" definitely didn't pan out here. \nWith previous ventures, the Wayans brothers proved that they can act, write and direct. Though, something about this movie makes the previous statement a bold one. Since it isn't a parody like their prior work ("Don't Be a Menace...," "Scary Movie"), "White Chicks" seems so prolonged you wonder if it will ever end.\nThe humor is so adolescent that kids will find it hilarious. However, the jokes are totally inappropriate for children, so I don't know to which demographic they were trying to appeal. The "magnificent" six that wrote this trash should have looked at some cross-dressing classics ("Mrs. Doubtfire," "Tootsie," etc.) before taking their own stab. If these writers would have prepared, they might've realized movies need a decent plot first and foremost.