The pro-spin zone

Note: Fear not. It is not my intention to turn the IDS Weekend into a heated political forum, but an election year such as this makes it hard not to throw certain issues out in every forum possible.\nThere's no spectacle on television quite as simultaneously thrilling and infuriating as watching "Hannity & Colmes" on the Fox News Channel. The beady-eyed, hirsute, confident mega-conservative Sean Hannity introduces a topic, let's say gay marriage, and puts his two cents in. Then his co-host, the ultra-liberal Alan Colmes, a rather meek man with awkward mannerisms, rebuts. Before long, Hannity is cutting him off and spewing something incoherent about how the founding fathers wouldn't approve of Colmes' point of view. Heaven forbid Colmes then try to get a word in edgewise or Hannity could well pull someone out of his bag of tricks to sit by his side, say, Oliver North.\nThis is a typical day on the Fox News Channel, a network that purports itself to be "fair and balanced," but proves itself time and time again to be anything but. Case and point: the network's resident superstar, Bill O'Reilly. I don't believe I could count the number of times on five hands that I've seen Bill tell his guests to zip their lips when they reach controversial territory. Word of warning: Don't go on Bill's show unless your opinions are pre-approved to agree with his own. By the way, Bill is the guy who thinks that rap lyrics will soon lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. Keep it pithy, Bill. And whatever you do, please don't opine.\nFox News Channel owner Rupert Murdoch is a well-known conservative, and the methods he uses to mastermind his media outlet are respectfully subversive, even if one does not agree with his views and the views of his henchmen. He's like the Wizard of Oz in a sense: a real smoke-and-mirrors kind of guy.\nYesterday, while flipping through the channels, I came upon good old Fox News and was taken aback by the story they were devoting 10 minutes of coverage to. The headline was "Hundreds of Prostitutes Flock to Boston for DNC." The anchor, none other than the mouthy host of "Your World," Neil Cavuto, began reporting on the swarm of locusts (hookers) that had descended on Boston in order to satisfy the barbarian horde of Democratic officials and delegates. As Cavuto reported, you could see in his eyes that he was proud as punch to be razzing the Dems. After he'd gotten a few shots in, the very next image onscreen was of George W. Bush speaking about family values before a church group in Texas. Way to spin it, Fox News. Way to spin it.\nOne thing that's almost impossible not to notice while watching the Fox News Channel, aside from the blindingly tacky display of red, white and blue, is the constant thread of the day's minor stories running across the bottom of the screen. CNN has this too, as do most other cable news networks, but there is something different about Fox News' incarnation. Approximately once every minute and a half (I've clocked it) viewers are afforded an update on the terror alert level. Sometimes it's elevated and some times it's high. \nRight now it's elevated. Keep 'em afraid, Fox News. Keep 'em afraid.\nTaking all the aforementioned issues, stirring them up in a pot, and exposing them with Michael Moore-esque glee is director Robert Greenwald's new film, "Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism." The film, which is coming straight to DVD, relies on the testimony of former Fox News Channel employees to shed some much needed light on the behind-the-curtain string pulling of the higher-ups within Fox news as it translates onscreen. We learn that most of the anchors' opinions are in fact engineered to fit Murdoch's right wing agenda. Seems about the only guy at the network who doesn't take orders is Alan Colmes. Too bad he rarely defends himself in a war of words.\nDon't get me wrong. The Fox News Channel isn't all bad. There's the non-partisan Greta Van Susteren, the freakish display of patriotism so overblown it borders on comical that is Geraldo Rivera's daily report and the occasional level-headedness of Tony Snow, but for the most part, it's much safer to stick with CNN. And if you don't have cable, let Dan Rather be your guide. Yes, all network news is inherently corrupt, and the only REAL news source is going out and experiencing the world for yourself, but you've got to give Rather credit. The man stays awake 24 hours a day just in case he needs to break a story. The man is a BEAST!\nBefore I leap off my soapbox, I would like to dedicate a memorial to the demise of a one Dennis Miller. No, he's not dead, but his sense of humor is. Sure, his show appears on MSNBC and not Fox News, but I feel we liberals lost something vital when he flipped (or flopped) over to the other side. The sight of Miller speaking at a Bush rally is akin to pigs flying and hell freezing over. Thankfully, we still have Al Franken and Bill Maher on our side.\nAnd just in case you forgot, the terror alert is still elevated.