News worth reading

Every morning when I wake up, the very first thing I do is turn on my computer. The second thing I do -- after spending a moment waiting for both my computer and my own still groggy mind to boot up -- is click on Internet Explorer to check the news headlines. The third thing I do is note the anxious breath I inadvertently take in that half-second between the time I have clicked and The New York Times Web site has loaded on my computer screen.\nIt's taken me a while to figure out just when that apprehensive inhalation was added to my morning routine, but I think I have it pinpointed. It all began Sunday, Dec. 14, 2003, the morning after the morning when I woke up to read the banner headline, "Saddam Hussein Captured." That small, uneasy gulp of air is in anticipation of the next banner headline heralding such great news. \nThere are so many headlines that I am waiting to see: "U.S. Signs Kyoto Protocol," "Israel, Palestine Sign Peace Agreement," "Cure for AIDS Discovered," "Supreme Court Declares Gay Marriage Ban Unconstitutional" or the granddaddy of them all, the headline I've waited two and-a-half years for: "Osama bin Laden Captured." These glimmers of hope, these vestiges of optimism I hold onto so tightly in my naïve, half-awake state, have become my primary motivation for getting up, my potential rewards for deciding to start a new day.\nUnfortunately, those optimistic visions aren't the only reason I gasp while Windows loads. My nervous huff of air is also an attempt to brace myself for the next headline announcing new additions to the list of victims of terror and war. While the first sort of headlines are few and far between, the latter are too frequent to warrant streaming across the top of the Web site in big, bold letters.\nTake this Monday's paper and a headline buried in the international section: "A Young Radical's Anti-U.S. Wrath Is Unleashed." Or Sunday's: "Blast in Madrid Kills 3 Suspects in Train Attack." Or Saturday's: "Attacks on Iraqi Police Kill 4."\nI know full well the appearance of my fantasy headlines won't stop this stream of bad news and may, in fact, increase the frequency with which it occurs. But their presence would serve as a symbol -- a symbol we, as a nation, have our priorities straight, that we are fighting the right wars and devoting the resources necessary to win them.\nConservatives accuse liberals of being pacifists, of being weak on defense and too anti-war to lead this country in this age of terror and nuclear proliferation.\nI'm a liberal, and I want war.\nAnd I don't want the U.S. to fight just one war, but many -- and I want all of them fought with the right goals in mind and in a manner that will yield the maximum benefits at a minimum cost. Protecting the world from terrorism and ensuring the health, safety and liberty of our citizens are all goals worthy of waging war, but that war need not necessarily be fought with guns and bombs. Iraq has shown the costs of that kind of war far exceed the benefits. \nI want a war against pollution. I want a war against corporate greed. I want a real war on terror based on multilateral intelligence gathering and targeting the hate-filled groups and individuals who pose a far greater threat to humanity than any nation. I want a war that galvanizes people to react to a suicide bomber not only with anger but also with the question, "why?"\nThe day war is declared, it will make headlines. When I see those headlines, I won't just take an anxious breath, I'll shout out with joy.