Far from the 'Time of Your Life'

Tropical nights, latin rythms, sweaty bodies -- sounds like the setup for one hot and spicy flick, right? Well, unfortunately, the makers of "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights" managed to take this equation and turn it into a 90 minute snoozer. With its predecessor fresh in the minds of millions of '80s fanatics everywhere, this movie had a lot to live up to and fell violently short.\nSure, the choreography was steamy and the moves were suggestive, but beyond that, this movie had nothing to offer. The lead actors came off as novices and the chemistry -- well, let's just say a lot of imagination was required to believe that these two had any interest in one another. Yeah, they have a passionate kiss in the middle of the dance competition exposing their forbidden relationship to the straight-laced parents, but there was more heat in the kiss between Jacko and Lisa Marie.\nWorst, it was predictable. Of course, one expects a remake/sequel to be predictable, but this was just painfully so. Within the first five minutes we've met the "brainy" girl eager to break free, the boss' son who's a parent's dream and the Cuban boy from the wrong side of the island, and thus, the love triangle is formed. \nAn attempt to make this age-old plot exciting is made by setting the story in 1950s revolutionary Cuba, but the relevance of the revolution to the rest of the plot is completely underdeveloped and ultimately unneccessary. The choice to make the movie a period piece could've been a good one had they not insisted upon filling the soundtrack with modern Latin rock. For some reason, Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas just don't seem to fit in with the June Cleaver style being seen. The disparity between visual and audio is too jarring to even make sense of. \nTo top it all off, an ancient-looking and desperate-for-work Patrick Swayze makes an appearance as a Yoda-esque dance instructor there to help the poor innocent girl find her inner sexpot. Unfortunately, during the dance scene between the two, one can't help but think there's something dirty and wrong about this old man dancing with the pure prep-schooler. It's more creepy than endearing.\nGranted this movie is kind of fun. But it definitely falls far short of showing you the time of your life.