Differences in sexes discussed

Dr. Lori Hart Ebert spoke about the differences in communication and stereotypes between men and women in her interactive lecture titled "Everything you always wanted to know about the Opposite Sex" Tuesday night in Assembly Hall. \n"We are here tonight because, first and foremost, I think men and women are truly different," Ebert said. "Men are simple creatures. Women, we are complicated, and that drives men crazy."\nShe began her lecture by giving the majority-female audience a series of numbers to add in their heads and instructed them to yell the sum outloud. Most yelled out the wrong final answer, which Ebert, who is director of alcohol education for Pi Kappa Phi fraternity, equated to being in a relationship and realizing you had the wrong "number" all along. \nTo perhaps clue in the male segment to its perplexing behavior, Ebert then asked the female portion of the audience what they believed was the most mind-boggling aspect of the opposite sex. Answers ranged from "lack of ambition" to the ever-puzzling question of why men don't ask for directions. \nEbert then turned the tables on the women by asking men what irked them about their female counterparts. One offered "women don't say what they really mean," while one male lamented on the indecisiveness of women choosing a place to eat.\nEbert gave the audience a quick lesson on sexual reproduction and biology, mentioning testosterone as the "I'll-kick-your-ass" gene in men. \nAgain opening the lecture for audience input, Ebert asked for the women to describe their fellow college men. Answers ranged from "bastards" to "stubborn, impulsive, lazy and cocky." When asked to describe college women, males in attendance illustrated them as "overbearing" and "scandalous." \nEbert also touched on the communication differences between men and women, which she said begin at a young age. Young boys want to be in charge of a large group, while young girls tend to stick with small groups, simply striving to be liked and accepted by their peers. Ebert said this way of communication does not change much as men and women get older and the need for girls to be socially accepted "tends to plague us as adults."\n"Women are taught to communicate by asking questions," she said. "Men communicate by being direct."\nEbert stressed the importance of communication in a relationship.\n"The most important thing in a healthy relationship is two people who get it, who know how to communicate," she said.\nWhen conflict arises in a relationship, Ebert said men tend to flee the situation and take the upperhand in the relationship. Women, on the other hand, "recreate drama longer than necessary" if they are unclear as to what their partner is saying.\n"Women tend to focus on everything but the problem," Ebert said. "(A woman's) job is to focus on what you want in the relationship."\nAudience members had various reasons for attending Ebert's lecture.\nSophomore Melissa Sanger said she decided to go because she heard Ebert speak in Chicago and thought she was "a really good speaker."\nFreshmen Lesa Allison and Natasha Hoang attended the event not only as a sorority obligation, but to uncover a mystery in their love lives.\n"(We want to) figure out why we're still single," they said.\n-- Contact staff writer Laura Kruty at lkruty@indiana.edu.