From bad to worse

Pardon me. I forgot to mention that I was wearing my rose-colored glasses when I wrote that IU was NIT-bound on Friday.\nAfter losing back-to-back home games to the two worst teams in the Big Ten, it seems likely IU will be left out of the postseason altogether for the first time since 1977. And it may turn into the first losing campaign for the Hoosiers since the 1969-70 season.\nJust exactly who is to blame for all of these woes has led to some debate across campus, such as the one that occurred between my friends and somewhat trusted associates Stanley Q. Studmuffin and Buck Rutledge.\nSQS: Man, we really need to fire Davis. This guy couldn't coach his way out of a paper bag.\nBR: Whoa, whoa, wait just one minute. Didn't he lead IU to the national championship game? It's these players that are the problem. George Leach's defense is like a sieve. Any team with a big man can score at will. We might as well play with four guys.\nSQS: Well maybe if we had recruited a big man, that wouldn't be such a problem, would it?\nBR: We'll take our lumps this year, but I tell you what, just wait until next year's class comes in. They'll make everyone forget about this season, with their raw talent and all.\nSQS: Our best recruit, Josh Smith, will probably go pro anyway. Besides, I bet next year flames out just like North Carolina's did last year to get Doherty axed. We can't wait for that to happen, we have to make a pre-emptive strike.\nBR: Yeah, those pre-emptive strikes always work out so well. Listen, these recruits will bail en masse if we fire Davis, and that will put us even further back. The problem is I see guys like Tapak and Moye giving every last bit of effort that they have, and no one else. Those guys are literally throwing themselves into the stands for this team. Does anyone else want to try doing that? I almost wonder if these guys just want to spend Spring Break in Cancun instead of at the Tournament. \nSQS: You're a moron. They probably would be better if they had a better motivator.\nBR: Oh really? And how does motivation have anything to do with piss-poor shooting? The best player on the team, Bracey Wright, shot 1 for 12 Saturday. He was more broke than MC Hammer. This team is 10th in the Big Ten in field goal percentage right now. And they're 4 percent behind Purdue, the ninth place team.\nSQS: That's because the offense has no plays designed to take high-percentage shots. Has it occurred to you that we probably would have beaten Illinois, Minnesota and Ohio State if instead of taking a three someone would have actually driven into the lane and drawn a foul, and maybe get a three-point play the old-fashioned way? We are third in the Big Ten in free-throw shooting, after all.\nBR: Well, if they don't win any more games, at least we'll know it was because they tanked it. Just completely gave up.\nSQS: I swear you get stupider every minute. The reason we aren't as good as Southern Illinois or Manhattan is-\nBR: Shut up, jerkwad.\nSQS: Who you callin' jerkwad, you piece of -- (punches are thrown).