The walls, they talk

I wanted to get a sense of what IU students think about, and I wanted to have a little fun. So I went to the bathroom repeatedly.\nPerhaps I should clarify. I didn't need to use the facilities in the traditional sense. I only wanted to read the graffiti. I got some funny looks as I walked in and out of stall after stall with pencil and paper in hand, but hey, I can't expect everyone to appreciate my noble, high-minded journalistic pursuits.\nSo what's on the mind of IU students, or, at least, what's on the mind of IU students who commit vandalism? Many of the topics are exactly what one would expect. \nStudents scrawl political slogans and scribble drawn-out discussions about God/religion/hell. They quote Ghandi and Jewel, and they love Dennis, Kafka and spotted chipmunks. Much of it is written with less-than-perfect spelling and grammar, as we see in this contribution to a heated debate about the relative merits of the greek system found in the men's restroom of Morrison Hall: "Of anyone not in the greek system, you have no idea of the comradery inherent to said system that prizes above all monetary value, and when is practiced sees them as friends and could care less."\nOf course, many comments are obscene, and in those cases, all the swear words are invariably spelled correctly. It's nice to see that we've learned so much in college.\nSome of the graffiti is simply nonsensical. "Are flies futile beauty butter?" asks one wall scribe. "TOES," declares another. And in the Music Annex, someone is conducting a systematic campaign to draw a picture of a bean (complete with the label "BEAN!" just so no one will be confused) in as many practice rooms as possible. Others respond to this legume legacy by declaring the bean-drawer a "retarded artist."\nSheesh. True artistic genius is simply never appreciated.\nI admit there were a few witty replies that I enjoyed. In response to a lengthy discourse about why CEOs should keep their money rather than give it away to the lazy poor, someone wrote, "Great! I've really been dying to know your position on this. What a relief." And next to the standard "You too can be saved" appeared an addendum, "and redeemed … FOR VALUABLE CASH PRIZES!!! Woo-hoo!"\nNow, I wouldn't want to send the impression that I approve of this graffiti. On the contrary, graffiti is not attractive, edifying or legal. Even graffiti that attempts to make a point seems rather pointless. I've never heard anyone say, "I used to support Bush, but then one day while I was on the john I read 'Dean 2004!' and I changed my mind." And I've never heard anyone testify, "I was an atheist all my life until I found God on a bathroom wall."\nThen again, it could happen. I really should stop being so cynical.\nBut I imagine that at its heart, graffiti isn't written to persuade, but merely to express. It's a platform for people to vent their views without having to worry about truly engaging anyone else or responding to opposing ideas. In fact, it's quite similar to much of the inaccurately-termed "dialogue," where people talk but no one listens -- where people simply agree with themselves. \nIn a way, graffiti is another symptom of the exhibitionist impulse: vandals are trying to leave their mark in a very literal sense. It's a shame that they choose to do so by defacing public property with comments about bodily functions.\nThe best response to the graffiti may come from its own authors, written in black Sharpie: "vandalism should not be tolerated"