Long-distance love

Freshman Marisa Churchill broke it off with her boyfriend of one month after arriving in Bloomington. Her now ex-boyfriend attends college in Grayslake, Ill.\n"It was very stressful for me to leave home and I didn't want the pressure of a relationship on top of that," Churchill said.\nLike Churchill, most college students don't think romantic long-distance relationships will work. A 1996 study sponsored by Carnegie Mellon University showed 66 percent of college students in long-distance relationships believed the relationship would not last through the academic year.\nTo the unassuming observer, it would appear that the pool of long-distance hopefuls that arrived at IU this fall is shrinking by the second, but amidst the flurry of breakups there are still optimistic students who see a future for their relationship.\n"Long-distance relationships take work, but I still think it can be done," said freshman Joanna Totten.\nTotten's boyfriend of three months attends school in San Lorenzo, Calif. Totten expects the time apart to strengthen their relationship. \n"He's still my best friend and my boyfriend, and I don't think that will change," she said.\nDespite certain fatalist views of long-distance relationships, studies show distance does not influence the success of a relationship. A study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows the breakup rates of long-distance relationships in college lasting up to 12 months are not significantly different than the breakup rates of non-long distance relationships.\nStudents seeking advice for their long-distance relationships are often freshmen, or "fresh people," as Nancy Buckles, director of the IU Health Center's Counseling and Psychological Services, likes to refer to them.\nStudents in long-distance relationships who utilize the Health Center's counseling services are often starting to question their relationship. Counselors help students look at the pros and cons of their situation. If they decide circumstances will not allow the relationship to continue, counselors can help students look at ways to end it.\nBuckles said many students want to remain long-distance friends when the romantic element has been cut out, but it's usually an ineffective alternative. \n"I won't say it never works, but it's very difficult," Buckles said.\nBuckles said a key part to maintaining the relationship is for the couple to enjoy each other's company. Tension can arise if over-analysis of the situation is attempted right away. \n"Don't try to talk too much on the first night," Buckles said, giving a couple advice about spending a long weekend together after being apart.\nAbigail Hulin is a freshman who enjoys long weekends with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend of five months recently attended boot camp in San Diego, Calif. During boot camp, he was only allowed to correspond through letters.\n"The toughest thing was not being able to see his face or hear his voice," Hulin said.\nHulin attributes much of the relationship's success to trust. \n"Believe them and have faith in what they say," she said.\nDespite the challenge, Hulin is not worried about the future and is confident their relationship will last.\n"I know that I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life," she said. "It's not like it's going to be long distance forever."\n-- Contact staff writer Joanna Borns at jborns@indiana.edu.