Bryan Adams sucks- Am I going to Hell?

A few weeks ago I was trying not to laugh at my friend as she explained some of the details of her newfound pagan religion. I suppose I should have been more supportive, but because of my total intolerance of anyone different than me I found it difficult. One point led to another and she asked me if I thought music was my religion. It was a strange question and I don't know if she asked it to strike a blow for equality, to show me that just because something is out of the norm doesn't mean it's bad, or if she was just curious.\nI didn't really have an answer. Thinking back on my life, I remember my dad sitting me down in front of the stereo demanding I listen to the Rolling Stones or Elvin Bishop, but never demanding I attend church. He would ask me questions to test my knowledge about the Beatles, but never asked me if I believe in God. \nSo I thought about my friend's question for awhile.\nIf God exists, I have no doubt music is His gift to humanity. Music is so ingrained in our lives that we hear a song in something as simple as the beating of windshield wipers. I'm just not certain I would call music a religion. It always seemed to me religion is something that can't be proved. I think that is a fair assumption, to believe in religion a person needs faith. \nI can prove music exists. I have the proof sitting on my shelves, in books, encoded into bits of plastic and grooved into vinyl. If I had the knowledge, I could map out music. I could listen to the greatest songs ever recorded and fill pages of staff paper with all the notes that make up what I am listening to. \nMusic does exist. I've heard it. \nOn the other hand, there is a spiritual quality to music. Why is it that when certain chords are arranged in a certain way they resonate within us? Hooks become stuck in our heads. Pop music has always and will continue to be filled with hooks; they sell records. As Blues Traveler said, "the hook brings you back." I doubt even the most scholarly music student could tell me why.\nAlso, as recently pointed out to me, religions are full of a higher power giving human gifts. The Christians have Jesus, Muslims have Mohammad and Buddhists have, well, Buddha. In these religions followers have the utmost faith in each of these people. But if one were so inclined to perform an autopsy on Jesus or Buddha, I am positive the doctor in question would find nothing more than meat and organs. There would be no trace of that higher power. There's that faith again.\nI have faith music connects me with others. I know that the people I get along best with are those with similar music tastes. I know that sharing a song I believe to be incredibly important has brought me closer to friends that understood why. One of the reasons I love my girlfriend so much is because she knows why Bruce Springsteen is so great. \nThis faith just leads to more questions. If music is a religion, does this mean musicians are agents of a greater power? Is Ryan Adams an angel? Is Bryan Adams a demon? As a music reviewer, am I constantly praising and criticizing God? Am I finding fault with certain aspects of His work while elevating others? Is this blasphemous? Am I going to Hell because I didn't like the new Smash Mouth album? \nThe more I look, the more correlations pop up. Just looking at followers of religion and music there is a huge similarity. Some music fans are just as devout and fanatic as certain religious groups. If you don't believe me just walk up to any guy with a denim jacket and an indie rock hair cut and tell him his music sucks. He'll cough and spit and yammer on long after you're bored just to prove how wrong you are. \nOf course, no one ever started a war over music; no one ever killed in the name of the Beatles -- but someone was killed because he was a Beatle.\nAfter writing this column, I have still have more questions than answers. The only thing I can do is plug in my headphones, hit the play button and let the music fill my head and soul. \nI have no answers, but I have faith.