Trip to Michigan could be very bad

You know what's ironic? If Matt LoVecchio were still at Notre Dame, he'd be starting for them this weekend.\nNot that the Irish are any good this year. But they are still better than the Hoosiers. And lest we forget, it has been a mere two weeks since Michigan throttled Notre Dame 38-0. That was before the Wolverines likely saw any hopes of a national championship fade away with a loss to Oregon. So what does this mean for IU?\nBad things. Very, very bad things.\nUntil last week, Michigan looked like the best team in the country -- or at least one of the top three. While this alone would indicate that they would slaughter the Hoosiers, it at least brought up the possibility that they would look past this week's game. Maybe they wouldn't hold practice all week, for instance.\nThat's not the case anymore. Now the Wolverines are the angriest team in the country. They still have a conference title to win. And who better to exact their vengeance upon than the sacrificial lambs from Bloomington?\nAny way you cut it, things just don't look like they will work to the Hoosiers favor. This match-up is about as even as a drag race between a Ferrari and a Chevy Cavalier. You can just look at history to figure that out. Michigan leads the all-time series 46-9. The last time they played, in 2000, Michigan won 58-0. Apparently Michigan coach Lloyd Carr thought it would be cool to let his starters play a bit in the second half, just in case the second-stringers might blow their 45-0 lead.\nIU's last victory over the Wolverines was in 1987. Back then, people our age were entertained by He-Man and Transformers on Saturday mornings, not college football. If you're a freshman now, you were still wetting your bed back then. (This might also be true for some seniors, but I'm not gonna go there).\nThere must be something for the Hoosiers to pin their hopes on though, right? When IU traveled to Washington this year, I suggested that a change in the earth's gravitational pull might help. That wouldn't be enough against Michigan, though. We need something more drastic, like a rule allowing IU to use 30 players on defense.\nThis is not likely to happen either. So I have offered a realistic solution that would allow the Hoosiers to disappoint those cocky Wolverines and their 110,000 fans in attendance at the Big House. Forfeit the game.\nThink about it. It would look pretty good in the books: Michigan 2, IU 0. We wouldn't have to worry about anybody getting hurt. The players wouldn't have to deal with the mental anguish of sitting on the sidelines and seeing their pride bruised. I could stay at home and watch the Cubs game.\nThe repercussions wouldn't be that bad. When St. Bonaventure forfeited the final two games of their basketball season, they just had to pay for the lost revenue for the home teams. Michigan fans would still pay good money to see their team scrimmage, so that would help IU swallow that cost.\nOK, so maybe the Hoosiers have a little more pride in themselves than to just roll over and die before the game is even played. And stranger things have happened in life. I can't think of any concrete examples, but I'm sure there must be something.\nSo if the Hoosiers are to top the Wolverines this weekend, they have this guarantee: I will run through the Arboretum Monday morning -- in the nude.\nI bet you're cheering for Michigan now.