Birthday ushers in quiet memories

Jill Behrman's mother, Marilyn, is certain that if her daughter were here to celebrate her 23rd birthday today, she'd be doing so as a fifth-year senior.\n"She kept changing her major and a few of her friends are in the same position," Marilyn said. "But that would have been OK, as long as she was happy."\nToday marks the first birthday Jill's family and friends will celebrate after laying Jill to rest.\nJill disappeared on May 31, 2000, while riding her bike in Bloomington. On March 13, 2003, a hunter and his son found skeletal remains near Paragon, Ind., that were later identified as Jill. A ceremony in June allowed the public to say their final good-byes.\nSenior Mandy Madden wants everyone to remember her best friend.\nMadden describes Jill as "a girl who had a strong work ethic, was determined to succeed and had a heart for others. She had a love for life."\nLast year, Jill's parents attended a memorial service in remembrance of their daughter, but decided they didn't need a public event to celebrate Jill's life.\nThis year, they are going to take the day as it comes and quietly reminisce about their daughter.\n"Mostly, I think we'll remember Jill and wish she could be here with us," Marilyn said.\nMadden said the past few years have been hard, but now that Jill has had a proper burial, it has helped resolve questions about Jill's whereabouts for her family and friends.\n"Every birthday has been difficult, but having more closure now, knowing that she was found, fills the void that was there the past three years when we didn't know where she was," Madden said.\nJill's brother, Brian, said this year wasn't the hardest birthday to celebrate.\n"I still feel that the one that was the hardest was her 21st," he said. "As close as Jill and I were, I had always looked forward to taking her to Nick's to play 'Sink the Biz.' This is just another birthday, and another day that I will not get to see my sister."\nMadden will celebrate today by calling Brian and catching up with him.\nThis heartbreaking ordeal has reinforced the importance of life to Madden. \n"Jill's story has made me appreciate life more and not to take anything for granted," she said. "I have learned to focus more on the positive outcomes, such as Jill's House, the Jill Behrman Emerging Leader Scholarship and the Jill Behrman Run for the Endzone, that have helped heal, reward and provide awareness to the community, instead of focusing on the tragic aspects of her story."\nWhile family was always an essential part of his life, the loss of his sister has made family an even greater part of Brian's life.\n"Family has always been pretty important to me, but the thought that something could happen, and I might never see my family again, that helps me to remember that importance," he said. "When I see families that can't get along, I always think to myself how sad that is. Life is too short to be angry with your family. In my life, my family comes first before anything else."\nIndiana State Police Sergeant Dave Bursten said the investigation into Jill's death is on-going. Facing the reality of an on-going investigation is disheartening for Brian.\n"The loss of my sister is a reality that I have come to live with," he said. "The sad part is that there are still people out there who know what happened and can provide complete closure for our family, but they still choose to keep things a secret."\n-- Contact staff writer Julia Blanford at jblanfor@indiana.edu.