'Full Throttle' running on fumes

Admittedly, I found the first "Charlie's Angels" flick to be a superficially entertaining guilty pleasure. Its sequel, "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" is not. Sure, each film boasts overly wire-assisted fight sequences, scantily clad leading ladies parading about in fetishistic slut gear and a thorough catalogue of '80s cheese metal. What separates the two, however, is that one is imbued with some sense of character, plot, humor, heart and smarts -- no matter how thin -- and the other is not. Sadly, "Full Throttle" doesn't have a brain in its pretty little head.\nNormally, this is where I'd go about describing the plot, but as this latest "Angels" vehicle has none, it's relatively fruitless. Suffice it to say, our three heroines (Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu) reunite for some sort of malarkey involving the retrieval of two rings containing a database revealing the names and locations of those protected by the FBI's witness relocation program. This inexplicably leads to a showdown between the Angels, one of their fallen comrades, Madison Lee (Demi Moore, augmented breasts and all) and Dylan's (Barrymore) Irish stereotype of an ex-boyfriend ("Mulholland Dr." star Justin Theroux). \nAs written via committee by the married and all-together talentless duo Cormac and Marianne Wibberley (yes, the same idiots responsible for scribbling the equally moronic "The 6th Day" and "I Spy") and John August (usually a solid screenwriter, what with a comedic gem like "Go" and the original "Angels" flick under his belt), "Full Throttle" has no focus. Essentially, its "Lord of the Rings" meets a Russ Meyer movie, only dumber and strung together by a series of lame-brained vignettes and musical numbers as opposed to an actual story.\nThe screenwriters cannot accept all the blame, though. MTV-weaned director McG apparently knew he had nothing to work with, and therefore litters the film with unneeded cameos (Bruce Willis, the Olsen Twins and rapper Eve -- amongst many others), poorly rendered special effects and enough edits to make Michael Bay's head spin. His actresses aren't much better, as each willfully rests upon her respective laurels. They primp and preen and do little else of note. In wake of such vanity, the talents of Bernie Mac, Robert Patrick (aka T-1000 in "Terminator 2"), Luke Wilson, Matt LeBlanc, Crispin Glover and John Cleese go to roost.\nWhat little "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" does right (i.e. a visually arresting motocross sequence, a surfing montage set to the Beach Boys' "Surfer Girl" and Moore's few moments as a sexy villainess) is squandered in excess. This is a franchise truly running on fumes.