'View from the Top' crash and burn

Cheez Whiz. Pizza. Lots of beer. This is the diet of the beautiful people. Or at least one could assume as much watching Brazilian director Bruno Barreto's new romantic comedy "View from the Top." The culinary habits of "View" are but a trivial example of a sugar-coated arsenic pill of a theme that naively frolics throughout: you can have your cake and eat it too, literally at some points. \nRiddled with stereotypes worthy of spine-snapping cringes, critics have wrapped their embittered fists around "View" and flung it to its fiery demise like a certain angry ape that once scaled the Empire State.\nOf course, a certain amount of common sense seems to have simply vaporized when it comes to the production of this film. First, screenwriter Eric Wald wrote this spec script while doing some time with the UCLA MFA Screenwriting Program as an assignment. Afterwards, it sat on a Miramax shelf collecting dust and dumb jokes for two years before being picked up; this is glaringly obvious. Second, this is a movie about flight attendants.\nBut the big question on everyone's mind is what in the name of all human sanity did Gwyneth Paltrow ever do to deserve being sentenced to such a film? WARNING: Please be careful when contemplating this question, as brain spasms and massive hemorrhaging may ensue.\nFurthermore, what unpardonable wrong, what dastardly deed did Mark Ruffalo, who got Brando-esque comparisons in the Oscar-winning "You Can Count on Me," commit to be cursed with this? \nSuch questions may never be answered simply because of the sheer amount of refuse that comes with a "View from the Top." The worst aspect of this film, as already mentioned, is in the end. How cute. How romantic. How ridiculous. Those who dream and dare to follow will learn the truth of sacrifice. That's life. And this movie is a burning heap of twisted metal that comes as a slap to the face to those who have known their dreams and the sacrifices they demand.