'Pardon the Interruption' stinks

I watched enough NFL Draft last weekend to make me wonder if a button on my remote control was stuck. \nA commercial promoting "Rome Is Burning," a new talk show starring Jim Rome, ran often. Meanwhile, "Pardon the Interruption" hosts Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon often interrupted coverage of the draft with their thoughts on the proceedings, a sign of the increased pervasiveness of the duo whose show airs weekdays.\nIn a lot of ways, giving a talk show to Rome and highlighting the "PTI" gang shows sports commentary has gotten way out of whack. While sports are about the resolution of conflict, the obsession with conflict maintenance has gotten out of control.\nLet me first off say that just about all my sports-loving friends and acquaintances love "PTI." I think it, to use Kornheiser's favorite word, "stinks." \nPeople seem to like the contrasting personalities of the hosts, the humor and the short-attention span-appealing bell which pushes them on to the next topic. \n"They tell me we're a hit on college campuses," Kornheiser told USA Today. "Why, I don't know. I'm not a big hit with my own children. But I hear that college kids say, 'It's just like watching our parents argue.' Maybe that's it."\nI see a show that is as scripted as "The Odd Couple" with one big difference. In "The Odd Couple," Felix Unger is a photographer; in "PTI," Kornheiser as Unger is like Wilbon's Oscar Madison -- also a sportswriter. You can see they obviously take sides before the show whether that's their opinion or not. What they really think is still a mystery to me.\nKornheiser by himself hosts a much more entertaining three-hour daily show on ESPN Radio which is unscripted. He sounds so much more natural and funny. He admits that he doesn't really like talking sports and goes out of his way to avoid phone calls just in case a listener wants to ask him whether the Lakers will four-peat or whether the Bengals had a good draft (By the way, the answers are yes and yes, respectively). Instead he will talk about his favorite snack foods or what happened on "American Idol." It's not sports, but at least listeners get an idea of his personality (What should be interesting is Kornheiser's relationship with Rome now that they're on the same network. He makes fun of Rome and his humorless baiting shtick mercilessly, often yelling, "Rack it" to a caller who makes a good point about potato chips or something).\nHow unnatural is scripted debate? It's ridiculous, but people lap it up. Oh, well.\nThe "PTI" phenomenon has branched out. During CBS' college basketball coverage, the network would set up timed debates between Clark Kellogg in the studio and Billy Packer at whatever game he might be broadcasting. Football talking heads Sean Salisbury and John Clayton debate everything NFL on "SportsCenter," likely in scripted form. One says "to-may-to"; the other says to-mah-to, blah blah blah. Even on CNBC's "Kudlow and Cramer," a show about politics and economics, they will bring out a bell and a time limit to quibble over the day's top issues.\nESPN has introduced a new show in the last several months "Around the Horn" that features four sports columnists arguing about events of the day and trying to win points based on their wisdom in a game of "competitive banter," as host Max Kellerman says. This show is so hackneyed that the viewer can see the Boston Globe's Bob Ryan's eyeballs roll while participating. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else, and as a result, I can only conclude he must make huge money doing it. Only the Denver Post's Woody Paige makes it interesting with his often cockamamie comments.\n"The Best Damn Sports Show, Period" on Fox Sports Net wallows in third grade humor, has-been athletes like John Salley and has-been actor-comedians like Tom Arnold trying to stay in circulation. The show usually hits its nadir when conducting sycophant interviews that would make Byron Allen blush.\nThe USA Today reported that "Around the Horn's" ratings are 36 percent better than "Unscripted," an athlete interview show that aired in the time slot previous to it, and that "PTI's" ratings are 97 percent better than "Up Close," another athlete interview show that aired in its previous time slot. What this means is that we have become sick of athletes and their scripted PR cliche hoarding and moved to sportswriters and their scripted "takes" as Rome would call them.\nProgress comes in baby steps.