Pseudo-swami of sex a little on the limp side

In certain circles, and overseas, where the sudsy…er, I mean, studly soap-superstar Jimi Mistry has quite a fanbase, "The Guru" has enjoyed its fair share of success. Here, in America, there have been critics who've praised the Bollywood-goes-Hollywood hilarity of "The Guru." This not being England, and I not being one of said critics, "The Guru"'s mystic charm really failed to enchant. Director Daisy von Scherler Mayer, whose prior work includes such romantic deadliners as "WOO" and "Party Girl," has actually stepped her game up with "The Guru." Of course, this is a lot like saying Paulie Shore's appearance on TRL marks a comeback in the best rock and roll sense of the term. \nJimi Mistry plays Delhi-dance heartthrob Ramu Gupta, whose own heart was slickly swept away at a tender, young age by the swiveling hips and coy lips of John Travolta and Olivia-Newton John in a Hindi-subtitled "Grease." Looking like Travolta in that not-so-much kind of way, Gupta informs friends and family alike that he is leaving for NYC to pursue the easily attainable American Dream. Once in the Big Apple, Ramu is absurdly naively duped into auditioning for the lead in a porn. In a scene I'm sure has Bob Seger choking on his Pabst Blue Ribbon, Ramu performs as Cruise in "Risky Business" with a Vishal Ailawadhi cover of "Old Time Rock and Roll." Miraculously cast as the lead, when it comes time for Ramu to shine…well, let's just say Ramu can't quite find the light.\nThe plot of this film continually spirals toward absurdity and we get Heather Graham as the porn-whore with a heart of gold who Ramu is quickly falling for and Marisa Tomei, cast as a New Age burnout who needs a spiritual fix. While the movie has some legitimately charming and hilarious moments, by the end, our Guru's guidance has been broken down to film-by-numbers. The last act involves the inevitable wedding sequence that comes so close to dumb-downed cliché. While it barely misses, the stale, bitter aftertaste is still there, and things feel more like an easy way out than any kind of real creative endeavor. Some have looked passed the film's flaws, and simply said it is a light-hearted screwball comedy. I believe what they were trying to say was light-headed comedy that missed the ball and is pretty much just screwed.