Keepin' it real

This is the story of 1000 people who sat together at Kilroy's Sports on a Saturday afternoon. Together, they waited for an opportunity for fame and fortune by auditioning for MTV's "The Real World" and "Road Rules."\nI was one of those people.\nUpon our arrival at Sports, my friend and I were herded into the outdoor patio serving as an under-21 corral. I was then handed my application (number 466) and sent amongst the masses to fill it out. It was no easy task. Nearly every seat was occupied, forcing a handful of people to make their temporary home on a cement pad.\nThe questions started like they would on any job application, asking about educational experience and job history. Then they began to vary from your typical McDonald's application, delving into things like "What do you look for in a relationship?" and "When approaching a new relationship are you the pursuer or the pursued?" \nIt also asked, "What scares you the most?" to which I answered, "Clowns."\nAnother requirement of the application was that you attach a photo. For me, it required bringing one of my all-time favorites, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices when trying to go Hollywood.\nThis scenario set up what was easily the most brilliant entrepreneurship venture I have seen in a long time. A trio of guys who seemingly dropped in from nowhere wandered amongst the applicants with a Polaroid camera in hand, soliciting photos for those persons who had forgotten to bring one to attach. \nHungry for their shot at the big time, dozens of applicants were more than willing to pay the piper for a $5 snapshot.\nAfter flying through the applications, most people were left with nothing to do but sit and wait for their number to be called. Unlike me, most people had actually prepared for this contingency. In a scene that was sure to please fans of irony, many people spent their time at the bar hitting the books.\nOthers decided to utilize their cell phones to get in touch with friends and maybe even loved ones.\n"Like, guess where I am right now? No…I'm at Sports trying out for the Real World! Yeah! I know! It's, like, totally awesome," was the typical conversation.\nThe majority spent the time staring at their competition and sizing them up. Or maybe they were just checking them out, as at least half of the shirts present revealed some sort of cleavage.\nSome people present even decided to do a little talent evaluation themselves. The phrase "How can they think that they're going to make it?" was heard on more than one occasion.\nWhen people finally did get called up, though, the tone was much more friendly, as complete strangers wished their competitors good luck and passed out high fives like they were a bag of chips.\nWhen I was finally called up after my 90-minute wait, I had to sit in line with a group of 20 people for another half an hour until we were finally led upstairs for our big audition, which was a round-table group discussion. \nThe first question involved myths about sex, as that must be a very "real" topic. Then, each person in the group was supposed to say an assumption they had made about another person in their group upon first seeing them. And that was it. From those five or so minutes, the talent guy is supposed to find out if you're fit for the show.\nThose who were fit got a packet that appeared to be some 20 pages long. No one in my group got one. We were just told there would be callbacks over the next two weeks. I won't be holding my breath.