Why do we still watch Tyson?

It would insult your intelligence if I told you that Mike Tyson is scum.\nHeck, it might even insult his intelligence.\nIn this patriotic time, Tyson is perhaps the one American athlete who exposes our double standard for tolerance of bad character. He symbolizes a nation and a culture caught up in fervent indulgence where the grandiose lineup introductions at one of our professional all-star games take up about as much time as the game itself.\nRoberto Alomar spits in the face of umpire John Hirschbeck in 1996, and is branded the foremost symbol of the modern athlete. That he gave money to a charity looking for a cure to the disease killing Hirschbeck's children is a footnote.\nIn a loose way, Alomar's story and Nelson Mandela's are similar. What they will be remembered most for doesn't nearly get at the person's total accomplishments. Alomar's story is so much more than a ballplayer who spit in an umpire's face. Mandela's story is so much more than a guy who spent twenty-seven years in prison. (I surely don't mean to say that what got each of them in trouble is comparable. Alomar's actions were a lot worse.)\nAnd the wheel just keeps on turning. As we reach the tenth anniversary of Tyson's rape conviction in Indianapolis, Tyson is just some other athlete who has done wrong. Allen Iverson has tattoos and cornrows, and Mike Tyson spends three years in jail for rape. To the American sports fan, there's not much difference anymore. They both just have image problems.\nESPN.com had the gall the other day after Tyson seemingly was the foremost participant and instigator of a press conference brawl with Lennox Lewis to ask if Tyson has hit rock bottom. Rock bottom? The guy spends three years in the gray bar hotel for rape. Frankly, I think Tyson is on the upswing. At this rate he should have the Arab-Israeli conflict settled and the Nobel Peace Prize all wrapped up within three thousand years tops. Pray for cryogenics.\nAs if Tyson's conviction wasn't appalling enough, his high-priced Washington, D.C., attorney Vincent Fuller contended at the rape trial that the victim should have known that Tyson had sex on the brain and that Tyson had been fondling and propositioning contestants for months prior to the Miss Black America pageant -- oh, romance isn't dead yet -- and that if you were to take a ride in his limo that you have already agreed to sex.\nNote to self: Don't hire Vincent Fuller to clear up that jaywalking ticket.\nFlash forward ten years later, and Tyson sits in front of the Nevada State Athletic Commission and says that he is crazy in that, for example, he likes to have sex in weird places but he isn't crazy crazy.\nHopefully, one of those weird places Mike considers having sex will be right in front of a police station. That will put us all a little more at ease.\nOnce again showing the ultimate in tact, Tyson brings up sex. By the way, did I mention that Las Vegas Police has recommended to prosecutors that they file charges against Tyson for two more sexual assaults, one allegedly occurring in November 2000 and the other occurring last December?\nWe know that money keeps Tyson around. Amazingly, there has still been enough left for Tyson once Don King takes his fair share. And consider that the first thing you have ever read that contained the words "Don King" and "fair share" in the same sentence.\nPrior to the Super Bowl, I read and heard several comments about how the Patriots were not only unworthy of the big game but should be somehow kept out because sports is entertainment and the Patriots were anything but exciting. Ignore the idiocy of those comments for now, and focus on the entertainment aspect.\nWe don't necessarily want to see the best anymore. We demand the most entertaining. Jameel McLine? Chris Byrd? Heck, they're not entertaining enough to give Lennox Lewis a fight; forget that they are among the top challengers for Lewis' heavyweight belt. Meanwhile, David Tua has a funny haircut, and he gets his fifteen minutes of fame.\nNobody needed to read about the death of Thai boxer Chatchai Phaisithing in the ring Feb. 1 to realize that boxing isn't going to change a bit. I still feel that if safety were important to those running the sport that headgear would be required at the pro level. This is more about keeping reality in proper perspective.\nSo just remember the following the next time you hear indignation about an athlete's minor indiscretions: Our standards aren't that high.