What a riot!

When I first heard the news last Wednesday that IU's football coach Cam Cameron had been fired, I immediately picked up my little journalist notebook and took to the streets. Students have a propensity for unruliness when beloved coaches are fired, so it was a logical conclusion that something big was about to go down.\nAfter all, if students had rioted for the "General," they certainly were apt to do the same for the "Lance Corporal."\nMy first stop was Memorial Stadium. As I sat outside of the empty stadium, I couldn't help but notice the resemblance to game days. Yet to my amazement, no one had showed up and threatened to break anything. \nFinally, I saw someone who was able to speak of the tradition that IU was losing.\n"Cam Camwon is coach since befow I was bown," said a four-and-a-half year-old Bloomington boy. He then began to talk about Teletubbies.\nReinvigorated by that particular interview, I headed to the Showalter Fountain where I awaited imminent vandalism and destruction. I soon began to regret my decision to not bring any reading material. Even a log of summer sausage to munch on would have sufficed.\nPerhaps ripping the fish out of the fountain is no longer the chic way to cause mayhem. With this thought in my mind, I headed to IU President Myles Brand's house. Maybe angry protesters would storm there.\nAs night began to fall, I started to come to the realization that maybe there was no story to be had here. I would have to wait a little longer for the day I would finally see my name on the front page -- and then it happened.\nShining like a beacon in the night, I saw a solitary student marching toward the president's house with a torch in one hand and what appeared to be an effigy in the other. A bullhorn hung around his neck. As I looked closer, I recognized him as none other than Stanley Q. Studmuffin, President of the Cam Cameron Fan Club.\n"Students of IU, unite!" he shouted. "Save Cam!" \nHe then proceeded to burn his effigy, which was supposed to be of Athletics Director Michael McNeely, though it bore a greater resemblance to Paul Reubens.\nI asked him why he was so steamed.\n"Cam brought home the Old Brass Spittoon, the Bucket and the trophy formerly known as the Bourbon Barrel."\nI pointed out that Antwaan Randle El, Levron Williams, and the Antwaan Randle El Bobblehead Doll were also big factors.\n"Well, don't think that IU has heard the last from the Cam Cameron Fan Club yet. I plan on filing a wrongful firing lawsuit on the behalf of Cam very soon," Studmuffin said.\nHe then surveyed the situation, and was dismayed that the riot police had not yet come.\n"I'm going to go steal the fish from the fountain. Want to help?" he asked.\nI shook my head, mumbling something about journalistic integrity. I asked what could be done to make him happy.\n"When ESPN does a movie on Cam," he began, "Let Ron Howard play Cam"