'McCool's' lacks humor, quality, entertainment

The writer and director of "One Night at McCool's" are bigger teases than my high school girlfriend. They should never have an opportunity to make another movie after the disappointing, not funny, leave you blue (not depressed), annoying dud of a movie they turned out.\nLiv Tyler and her push-up bra play Jewel. And that's all you really need to know. Jewel wears a lot of revealing clothing and lingerie. She also washes a car half-naked. She's hot. But don't get your hopes up guys; What she does wear, she keeps on. You won't see Steve Tyler's daughter naked despite the 'R' rating this movie obtained. \nFor women viewers, the movie does have a plot. Jewel's whole life consists of digging for gold. She seduces Matt Dillon, trying to steal his house. Trying to make this work, she enlists the help of Paul Reiser and a fatter-than-ever John Goodman by sleeping with them also. Yes, Liv Tyler sleeps with Dan from "Roseanne." Each man tells their story of falling for Jewel; Dillon to a hitman played by Michael Douglas he hired to kill Jewel, Reiser to a shrink played by Reba McEntire and Goodman to a priest living vicariously through his exploits.\n"McCool's" gathers an ensemble comedic cast but isn't a bit funny. The jokes are mild and boring. I laughed more at "Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles." Ronald McDonald is funnier than "McCool's."\n"One Night at McCool's" relies solely on Liv Tyler's breasts and big name actors. Goodman and Douglas turn out good performances, Tyler is above her average product, while the rest of the cast wades in mediocrity. Reba McEntire should not act. \nDon't see "McCool's." It McBlows.