'Attack' of the film critics

Maybe you're sick of reading about it, but after three years of waiting for "Episode II," I'm going to throw my two cents in as well. I'm not going to review it or tell you why you should see it multiple times. But I am here to tell you why some of the critics are complaining about this film. I've read a lot of reviews, and I have seen the film. Out of the 20 reviews I have read, more than half of the critics gave the film a C-rating and only three or so gave it an A. I am not here to refute the grading of the films, but I am here to review the reviewers.\n"It's not as good as the originals"\nNo matter what, "Episode II" will be compared with the original trilogy. No, it's not as good as the originals. But, here is the real question: what sequel is better than the original trilogy? Francis Ford Coppola's first two "Godfather" movies are some of the best films ever, but the third one should have been whacked Fredo-style. It's just that we have such high expectations for these films, and these critics want them to fail because they have such a great remembrance of the first three. \nIn an interview on E! (Entertainment Television), Ewan McGregor said, "These critics want to have the same experience they had seeing the originals over 20 years ago when they were six, and that's just not going to happen." \nI feel that the critics have gone into the last two films looking for something to complain about. But unlike "Episode I," where Lucas gave us Jar-Jar Binks and not-even-cute Jake Lloyd, he makes us search for problems with the second installation.\n"The plot is dumb"\nIt's actually a lot more intelligent than the originals. Yes, the Trade Federation, the Separatists and all the political talk may get in the way of some of the lightsaber battles, but they are necessary to get it back to where the story began. The original plot was really simple: The rebels don't like the Imperials. They steal some plans, and they blow up the Death Star. Luke starts his Jedi training, and finds out Vader is his father. Luke becomes a Jedi, finds out Leia is his sister, fights Vader, and then Vader has a change of heart and kills the Emperor. Three movies in three sentences. If I were to do this with the Episodes I and II, I would need three pages. "Attack of the Clones" actually makes the viewers put the pieces together on their own. Yes, the simple plotline works amazingly, but you would think that film critics would have more respect for a more intellectual story.\n"The dialogue is bad"\nThe common complaint about Episodes I and II is that the dialogue is slow, boring and monotone. Well, many critics' reviews are pretty slow and boring as well. The reason for this is that all the main characters are now very important people. Whether they are Jedi Knights or Senators, they speak with a more important tone. The originals had these important people speaking the same way. Obi-Wan and the Emperor speak even slower in the originals. Princess Leia is just as tactful as Padmé Amidala, and after Luke becomes a Jedi he speaks more and more like his father, Anakin. It's just that we don't get smooth-talking smugglers like Han Solo and Lando Calrissian in the first two. \n"Lucas is just a commercialized toy maker"\nMaybe he makes a huge profit on the toys he has created, but much of that huge profit has come from the parents of these nay saying critics. "Star War" toys were the greatest toys ever created, and I know I spent years of my childhood re-enacting the Rancor monster scene in Jabba's dungeon. And you critics did too. It's just that we are now old enough to realize that the toys are just a profitable scheme to take our money. Lucas did it two decades ago when we were kids, so why is it wrong to do it to our generation's kids? It's not wrong, and I applaud Lucas for creating a film series that can be enjoyed by people of all ages.\nAnd that's really the whole key word here -- enjoyable. The original "Star Wars" didn't produce any best actor statuettes, and the new ones won't either. They were made to be enjoyable, and they are some of the most enjoyable movies ever created. It's just that some critics are jealous because they have finished eating the rest of their movie popcorn for their dinner while Lucas is asleep on a huge pile of money pouring in from 74 countries.