Actors, actresses need to address their dress at awards show show

My dreams of looking like a movie star have finally come true. This morning I woke up looking like Cameron Diaz. Everything was the same. The hair, the clothes, I was ready to take my place on the red carpet.\nAnd if you watched the Oscars Sunday night, you know what I mean. This morning my messy bedhead and flowery bathrobe achieved the exact same look that Diaz probably spent thousands of dollars on to display at the Oscars. \nI'm sure I've made many a fashion faux pas in my time, but the fact that Diaz's hair appeared to have been attacked by a leaf blower and that her dress resembled curtains or a bathrobe puts her far above me on the list of who should be arrested by the Fashion Police. I've gone out looking that bad before; but never with the pretense of being 'dressed up.'\nIn fact, the majority of Oscar fashions displayed Sunday were in the "worst-dressed" category. Most of the women present, including people like Jennifer Connelly and Gwyenth Paltrow, who usually exude taste and elegance, ended up looking just plain weird.\nMaybe it was out of confusion of how dressed up to get for an awards ceremony that, like everything else, is colored by the tragedy of Sept. 11. So perhaps the Hollywood rich and famous were at a loss when choosing clothes because they didn't want to appear too dressed up and make light of the war on terrorism and the ongoing recession. This could be the reason that Barbra Striesand chose to recycle a tablecloth to use as a dress; why Jennifer Lopez decided not to buy a comb to loosen up her astronomically bouncy curls and why Sharon Stone was nice enough to have her dress go without the whole back half.\nThen there were those who had perfectly nice outfits, colored by one weird little detail that was just enough to drive vicious viewers like me insane. Take Marisa Tomei's dress, for example. It was a nice black number unfortunately colored by wacky asymmetrical spaghetti straps. Personally, I spent the entire night wishing I could transport myself to Hollywood with a big pair of scissors to snip them off her. Or how about Gwyneth Paltrow, sporting a nice dress with a top that was sheer to the point of scary.\nIf only all the stars had taken a page from the books of people like Halle Barry and Reese Witherspoon, both of whom looked great in two completely different dresses (Barry's was sheer and red and flowery while Witherspoon's was black and lacy).\nWatching the Oscars (or any award show for that matter) can teach the viewers and the wearers of the dresses one of two lessons. First, even if your friends, your fashion magazines, Georgio Armani and Bagdley Mischka all say something is in style, that doesn't mean you have to wear it. Second, if you like what you're wearing and you think it looks good, then everything is fine, and you should ignore snarky columnists like myself (but don't expect us to stop talking about it).