Bartender and deejay \'mix well\'

Bartenders and deejays control the night. The doorman might allow you into the bar, but he doesn't mix your favorite drink. He can't play your favorite music. The bartender and deejay determine the mood, heart and soul of a bar. At Bullwinkle's, DJ Devin "Triptonite" Gray and bartender Jennifer Gray are also the heart and soul of each other as husband and wife.\nMarriage, or any sort of monogamy, is not generally associated with bars, even less with spirited dance or gay clubs like Bullwinkle's. But environments full of young singles have spawned many relationships, including this one. \nThe Grays, both IU graduates, met at Bullwinkle's in 1997. Their passion for dance music led them to them this outpost of electronica. It was the only place in town that played the music he likes, Devin says. Jenn even says that Devin and his taste in music has made her a musical "snob."\nBull's not only provides, but also allows Devin to play the music he likes. He began as a volunteer substitute DJ, and he's spun house and trance for nearly five years. His playlist ranges from dance remixes of crowd favorites Britney Spears and Madonna to his favorites Modjo and Daft Punk.\n"I love deejaying. I just love making people happy and getting people to dance. It makes me feel really good," Devin says. \nJenn has been going to Bull's since she was first old enough to get in. She first went for an HIV/AIDS benefit when she says she "fell in love" with the people and the place, and has been there ever since. \n"I tend to find that most gay people have already gone through so much crap that with their sexuality that the kind of people that they are, they are much more open and honest," Jenn says.\n"They have already come to a lot of self-realization."\nJenn has been a bartender for four years. For her, working at Bullwinkle's is like getting money to hang out, she says. She enjoys making "really elaborate, tall drinks." She just created a drink called a "mindnumb-er," a combination of fruit-flavored liquors. Her personal drink is the "Jenn #1," which includes Malibu and pineapple juice in the mix, which she describes as "pretty deadly." \nFrom meeting to marriage\nDevin did not expect to meet his future spose at a bar. Although they met at the bar, the story that began their relationship was anything but a bar pick-up. \n"I would sit here at the table every night and watch her dance," Devin says. "I was waiting for her to fix me up with someone, and who would have guessed that it was gonna be her."\nJenn invited Devin on their first date. Jenn was treasurer of the IU Student Association, so they attended an IUSA function. Devin believed that they were going simply as friends. Jenn had other plans.\n"(It was) not a 'date' date, but she wanted me to go be with her," Devin says. "I was like, 'Sure, I will go with you.' It was a 'date' date."\nThey dated for nine months before getting engaged. Both say it was something they just knew -- that they had found a soul mate. All of Jenn's friends were very excited for them, but some of the female impersonators at the bar had small misgivings.\n"(They thought) that Devin didn't give me a big enough diamond," Jenn says. "Because they all wear costume jewelry, you know, the great big diamonds. I think seeing an actual diamond to them was a shocker."\nThe wedding was pretty traditional Jenn says, but that would not describe their wedding in full. The Grays knew that they would have conservative family members among the 350 guests, who were not accepting some of their friends, but they still had a good time. They even went to Bullwinkle's after the reception.\n"It was everybody from super-conservative folks to drag queens," Jenn says. "I think they (conservative family members) knew better than to really say anything about the others. All the drag queens came as boys. They all had on suits and they were late too, so they snuck in with suits and ties on. It was so funny 'cause they had never seen them as boys," Jenn says. \n"Who cares? I told them they could come however they want," she adds.\nDevin and Jenn only work part time at Bull's. Each has a full-time job in addition to their night jobs. Devin is a cost analyst at Teletron, a telecommunications company, while Jenn manages Urban Outfitters. Each job is a major responsibility, but they remain committed to Bull's as well.\nEach Gray works at Bull's Thursday and Saturday nights. Thursdays, Jenn works from 8:30 p.m. until close at 3 a.m. or later. Devin starts at midnight and spins until 3 a.m. for a segment called Danceparty. \nBoth bartending and deejaying require full attention, and the Grays have little time to interact while working. The DJ booth and the bar are also about 40 feet, and large crowds, away from each other.\n"I don't really see her during the night," Devin says. "She is really busy with customers. Occasionally, she will be really sweet, and she'll send me up a drink if I have not been down to ask for one. I don't really have time between songs to order my own drink."\nBar-goers flirt and flirt heavily. Devin and Jenn have both had their share of propositions, even with the other only a few yards away. The invitations have decreased in frequency, but they are still a part of the job.\n"Some people know that we are married and some people don't," Devin says. "Some people still come up to the booth. The men make passes at me. They don't know that I am married or that my wife is the manager standing behind the bar watching them try to hit on me. And the same thing with women, they'll come up to the booth and request a song and flirt with me."\nJenn doesn't put up with anyone hitting on her. It usually occurs while she is dancing, not bartending. Devin has intervened before, but it is not generally necessary. The couple is very trusting of one another.\n"He knows I can take care of myself," Jenn says. "If I ever need him, I know he will be right there. For the most part people are just stupid and drunk. I usually don't do too much but I have had a couple of people thrown out for trying to grind on me."\nJenn says she thinks that most recent flirting is a result of patrons wanting small favors. They think being on the bartender's good side has its benefits.\n"There's, like, the whole bartender idolatry, DJ idolatry," she says. "We're both in those positions that, for one reason or another, it's advantageous to know us. Either to get a good drink, a fast drink or to get their song played. So I think that's why we get hit on a lot now. \nMany firms don't allow relatives or married couples to work together. The Grays experienced this when they tried to work a day job together, but were not allowed. Policies prohibiting family co-workers are not contentious issues like they once were, but they still cause conflicts. It has not been not a problem at Bullwinkle's, even though Jenn has been Devin's superior at times.\n"I totally believe that in a professional job and a professional setting that we could work and do our jobs and be very good about working and doing our jobs together," Devin says. "When you got to work at 8 o'clock in the morning you do your job and you separate that from your personal life and at 5 o'clock in the afternoon you go back to being husband and wife. While you are at work you are doing a job."\nThe Gray's are also proponents of gay rights, HIV/AIDS awareness and feminism. Jenn claims that her "soap box" is bigger than Devin's because he is not vocal. Jenn was the auctioneer for the Positive Link annual AIDS awareness benefit that was held at Bullwinkle's last week which raised more than $1,400. Longtime friend and co-worker Greg Bell says that Jenn is committed to the gay community. He has worked with her on benefits for several years including the auction.\n"People know that they can trust in her," Bell says. "She's a real resource in the community. People know they can go to her."\nThe couple has many ties to the community. They plan on leaving Bloomington for someplace warm eventually, but say they think it will be difficult. They say they are content with their marriage and will be happy as long as they are together.\n"I think the best thing I like about married life is the fact that I've got someone who I know I am going to spend the rest of my life with, as opposed to going out every night of the week looking for somebody to spend the rest of my life with," Devin says. "I've found her and I just love her. And now I can spend the rest of my life with her and make the most of it"