Absence of family provides chance for independence

Someone asked me recently how often I talk to my parents.\n"Once a day, right?"\n"No."\n"Every other day?"\n"Um, no, not exactly."\n"Well, how often do you talk to them?"\n"Once or twice a week."\nThe person I was talking to was taken aback a bit. I guess he assumed that everyone's family was as close-knit as his. \nThat conversation made me feel guilty about my relationship with my family. I had heard others say how their mothers and fathers were their best friends, they shared everything with their sister, did everything with their brother. I had never said anything like that. I know I love my parents, but I just don't feel the need to confide in them. I know my sister and I love and respect each other, but we just don't show it or talk to one another all that much. That's just the way it's always been; the relationship my family and I have is like racial tension in a public high school. We know it exists. We just don't acknowledge it that often.\nWhen I went off to college, my parents and sister didn't cry and neither did I. Granted, freshmen entering college are usually excited to be away from the rules their parents held over their heads in high school -- tedious things such as curfews and chores. \n There is usually a small feeling of sadness for freshmen who were close to their families because they will not get to see them as often while in college. It's a terrible thing to admit, but that feeling didn't really exist for me. What's even worse to admit is that I am about four and a half hours away from my family; my roommate is forty minutes away from hers, and she talks to her family more than I do.\n But is this really a bad thing? When in college, adjustments are necessary, and one of the major changes is being away from one's hometown, family and friends. Some people have a very hard time making the adjustment of being away from loved ones. \n Take one freshman girl who used to live on my floor. She went home almost every weekend, and at the end of the semester, transferred schools so that she could see her family and friends more often. She didn't feel she could handle the adjustment.\nA friend of mine told me it was a good thing that I hadn't gone home for a weekend for reasons other than Thanksgiving or winter break. "It shows you can handle being without them," he said. "You're adjusting well to college." My parents understand this also. My parents don't mind that my phone calls home are minimal because they want me to have a sense of what it's like when they're not there telling me what to eat and what I can and can't wear. \nThey want me to get used to a life where I will be more independent. They don't want me to call home as often as my roommate does because if I did I wouldn't be showing them that after college I won't need them around to make sure I keep making the right decisions for myself. \nIt isn't a bad thing that my parents and I only call each another twice a week. They are allowing me to grow and be my own person. By not calling them, my parents know I can fend for myself.