Conclusion: This game is insane

This week was slated for the countdown to the Rose Bowl, but given the current plight of the football team, it might well be better-suited for the various uses of paper clips and shovels. \nBecause all bowl discussion is sidetracked by that 2-5 record, I turned to Sony Playstation. Wednesday, I set up the classic battle for the Brass Spittoon, NCAA Football 2002 style. \nEvidently, announcers Kirk Herbstriet and Lee Corso have just as much faith in the Hoosiers as I do. Both predicted an MSU rout. \nCorso said IU would provide "no competition. (Michigan State) can shut this team down, and that's exactly what they'll do," he continued, giving the edge to MSU in every aspect of the game. IU's former coach applied the cold shoulder. But, if he's crazy enough to coach at IU, what does he know? \nHerbstriet followed Corso's lead.\n"This could get very ugly," Herbstriet said before rambling on about MSU running back T.J. Duckett. I skipped the monologue and started making my position changes to provide an accurate outcome. Unlike a certain coach, I realized Antwaan Randle El needed to be at quarterback right off the bat. \nLike that certain coach said, "Has there ever been a more obvious decision...?" No, so I made it. \nHere's the long and short of the game. \n• IU's Adam Braucher sailed the kickoff into the endzone, so I knew from the get-go that this game was full of ...\n• IU ran the ball as well as a bunch of third graders trying to knock down the big swirly slide at recess. The total: 15 yards rushing on 27 attempts. See, the game is full of ...\n• MSU sliced up the IU defense in the first half, scoring twice to take a 14-0 halftime lead. Both touchdowns came on blown coverages. Sound familiar? \n• The halftime stats were ugly, just like Herbstriet said. IU -- 55 yards. MSU -- 152 yards. \n• Coach Cam Cameron (that certain coach) and his option-first plan wasn't working. Randle El totaled just 16 yards on seven carries. The artificial turf didn't help his speed. I was sad. \n• After a boring second half full of options, pitches and more of Cameron's option-crazy offense, I opened the playbook and drove the Hoosiers down the field. But, on fourth and goal from the four-yard line (Do you even have to ask why I didn't try a field goal?), Glenn Johnson was ruled out of bounds on a would-be touchdown pass. I argued, but the game didn't listen. I was pissed. \n• One play, later, the game looked just like the real thing. Duckett broke about 33 tackles, spurted past the IU defense and galloped 96 yards for a 21-0 MSU lead. I was still pissed, but chuckling, because this game was eerily realistic. \n• Randle El opened the passing game, drove IU to a score and then another one to pull within 21-14 with less than two minutes left. I was about to wet my pants. \n• Braucher botched the first onside kick, but the game gave me another chance. Herana-Daze Jones recovered the second kick, and I wet my pants. With one timeout, a comeback was imminent. \n• Not so fast. \n• Three plays later, Randle El's head exploded or something, because the game told me he had a migraine headache and was injured. I was pissed again. Enter Tommy Jones, whom the game ranks as better than Randle El. The game is full of ...\n• On his second pass, Jones fired an interception, and the comeback was history. Randle El returned from his migraine to return a punt with a few seconds left, but some Spartan grabbed his shoe and ensured that Jones was the goat. MSU 21, IU 14. Final. I was still pissed. Jones had horns.\n• On a side note, Ryan Hamre's punting average ended up being 44.3 yards. I concluded the game was insane.\nSo, the Brass Spittoon stayed in East Lansing. Corso and Herbstriet were right. Cameron is still fired.