NBA play putting fans to sleep

Something occurred to me the other day as I turned off the NBA All-Star Game in favor of watching "The Iron Chef": The NBA has come to stand for the National Boredom Association. But there are several questions as to how a league that was so prestigious and exciting from the mid-1980s to the mid-90s could fall to such depths of udder disinterest. \nAs it turns out, I am not the only one who is completely devoid of interest in the NBA. According to The Associated Press, the average number of homes tuning in to watch regular season games on NBC has dropped from 4.5 million in 1997-98 to 3.1 million this season. In that same time period, the average attendance at games has fallen from 17,135 to 16,294. Arenas can draw more than that for "Pocahontas on Ice." One possible theory for this decline in interest can be linked to the retirement of Chicago Bulls superstar Bill Wennington (I came up with that one myself, actually). But the argument tying it to the retirement of Michael Jordan probably holds a bit more water.\nThe biggest problem nagging at the NBA is the lack of quality play on the court. League offenses have screeched to a halt, causing the games to have about the same pace as a curling match. An excellent example is a recent game between the Mavericks and the Knicks that went to double overtime -- yet neither team managed to score 100 points.\nThe league itself has grown incredibly watered down with 29 teams. The best example of this is the Eastern Conference playoff race. The Celtics are not even mediocre, with a 22-27 record. Yet this mark would still get them the No. 8 seed in the playoffs if the season ended today. But the title of most pathetic must be bestowed upon the Bulls. With a 6-42 record, it is impossible for them to finish .500 if they won the rest of their games. \nAnother problem besieging the NBA is the bad public relations produced by many of its star players off the court. League-leading scorer Allen Iverson seems to revel in controversy, and he added to that image by releasing a controversial rap album earlier this year. Renowned thug Anthony Mason averages a double-double each game, although if you threw the number of times he gets arrested each year into the equation, he would probably average a triple-double. Jason Kidd was arrested for beating his wife. Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant have allegedly been bickering like a pair of young kids over a Tonka truck. Shaq also regrettably showed us his acting chops in the movie "Kazaam." \nWhole teams get into the mix. Every time the Knicks and Heat play, they turn basketball into a carnival sideshow and find some reason to brawl. Even Jimmy Buffett was ejected from the crowd the last time they met. \nThe league must find a way to deal with the influx of young players. More and more players are coming out of college early, or just skipping it altogether. Considering that the NCAA is infinitely more exciting to watch, it is often a curious decision. While there will always be a few Kevin Garnetts and Kobe Bryants who can excel in the NBA at the age of 19, too many players trick themselves into believing they can go pro. Remember God Shammgod? He left Providence early a few years back, and his current location is more unknown than Jimmy Hoffa's.\nEssentially, the NBA has gotten to the point where the CBA might actually be more interesting to watch. But that isn't a possibility either, as the 55-year-old league declared bankruptcy last week. Unless there is a minor miracle that saves the league, this means we will be forced to say goodbye to the teams that fans have grown to love, such as the Fort Wayne Fury, Gary Steelheads, Idaho Stampede, Quad City Thunder, LaCrosse Bobcats, Rockford Lightning, Sioux Falls SkyForce and the Yakima Sun Kings.\nSo what can be done by the NBA to improve its quality? Commissioner David Stern is no fool, and has already begun to investigate the root of several of the problems that have caused league interest to sag. One way to start would be to publicize classy stars of the game, such as Ray Allen or Elton Brand. Even promoting Erik Piatkowski for nothing more than the reason that his nickname is "The Polish Rifle" would be an upgrade on its current image. \nFrom there, the rest of the improvement will have to be done on the floor.