Political Christmas cards

I am beginning to wonder if I'll get what I want for Christmas: a legitimately elected president. If not, I'll be happy enough if Santa remembers that I asked for peace in the Middle East.\nNo matter what's on your Christmas list, the last few days have been either a treat, a disappointment or a major confusion. Here's what has happened since Friday:\nFriday, the Florida Supreme Court, in a decision that was one of Al Gore's few victories in this on-going battle of the bands (bands of wily politicians, that is), ruled that all undercounted votes in Florida be hand-sorted. This means all ballots the machines couldn't read will be examined by election workers, something that could at last confer legitimacy on the contest.\nFriday and all Saturday morning, startled canvassing board members in previously unheard-of places such as Gulf County, Fla., began wildly counting votes in response to the state court's demand of an "immediate" recount.\nSaturday, the U.S. Supreme Court granted Texas Gov. George W. Bush's request for a stay of the recount. This means the counting will not continue until the nation's high court hears arguments in the federal appeal against the Florida court's ruling. This might threaten Florida's ability to finish a recount by the Dec. 12 deadline for choosing electors. It was also a real bummer for Cora Sue Robinson, the Gulf County elections supervisor. \n"We've wasted a whole day," she said, after counting a mere 43 undervotes. Sorry for the imposition, Cora Sue.\nWhew! \nThe complex web of our government, our election laws and the appellate process is really throwing everyone for a loop.\nSo what sage-like wisdom can I offer at this time of confusion?\nSorry, but it's a busy holiday season, and I'm behind on my Christmas cards.\nDear Gov. Bush: Just remember the old Christmas song: "He knows when you've been naughty, he knows when you've been nice; he knows when you've lost the popular vote, so wipe that smirk off your face."\nDear Vice President Gore: I know leaving milk and cookies for Santa Claus is the best way to get what I want for Christmas. Maybe you could drop off some Chocolate Chippers in Justice Rehnquist's chambers, and then he'll leave a few hundred votes under your tree.\nDear Justice Stevens: Good job writing the dissent in Gore v. Bush. It takes a lot of guts to say of your five conservative colleagues, "The majority has acted unwisely." Them's fightin' words. But it's worth fighting to see that all Florida votes get counted.\nDear Justice Thomas: How much do you owe former President Bush for standing by you during your ill-fated confirmation hearings? Enough to ignore your preference for state sovereignty and vote to reverse the Florida Supreme Court?\nDear Justice Ginsberg: Happy Hanukkah! Of the nine justices, you are best positioned to work for a fair ruling in this case. While still a part of the more liberal wing of the court, you have often agreed with the conservative justices that in matters of state law, state courts should be given deference and the benefit of the doubt. Keep reminding them their conservative preference for state-sovereignty means they ought to side with the vice president. Stick to your guns, and make your fellow justices stick to their principles.\nDear Florida Supremes: Don't fret, even though it seems like the U.S. Supreme Court is the Grinch, and you are the Whos. It certainly looks like they're trying to spoil your holiday with two potential reversals in as many weeks. Perhaps they'll wake up Scrooge-like, filled with the giving spirit, and give a voice to all Florida voters.\nDear Ralph Nader: You must not have been in the giving mood back in November, because you had a chance to tell your voters in swing states to support the vice president. How does it feel knowing that if only a few hundred of your Florida supporters had punched their chads for Gore, we wouldn't be in this mess? But I guess you'll get your lump of coal if Bush picks the next head of the Environmental Protection Agency.\nDear Readers: Thank you for faithfully following this election all the way to the bitter, bitter end. It hasn't been much fun, but your grandchildren will appreciate your help when they study turn-of-the-century history. Maybe next semester, we'll get to have some fun with a president-elect.