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Friday, March 29
The Indiana Daily Student

Even dorks have to get their fix

For many a single and soon-to-be-single young and slightly dorky man, last Thursday was a historic date. No, some third-world regime wasn't overthrown, and no major/beneficial legislation reached our Supreme Court. Thursday saw the launch of the highly anticipated Playstation 2 game system, and luckily enough for me, my roommate happened to procure one.\nNow for the aftermath. What will happen to my academic standing in light of this glorious black and cobalt box? Will my girlfriend be supportive of the considerable amount of time spent between me and my roommate's gaming console? And why do I suck so much at Winter X Games Snowboarding in comparison to my friends? These, amongst many other questions, dance about my head like a perfectly pixled football player featured within Madden 2001 (currently available for PS2) would about an end zone.\nMy roommate and two of our buddies threw caution to the wind and decided to wait for the PS2 shipment at Bloomington's very own K-Mart retailer. Suffice it to say the wait was arduous and chock full of "Deliverance"-esque moppets from bordering counties and guys, who believe it or not, were dorkier than my friends and I. The wait was so terrible, in fact, that the guys temporarily accepted a brief lapse in technology and reverted back to, gasp… a board game. Risk specifically. What a coup!\nWas the system worth the 10-hour wait that my friends endured? I not being there and having since reaped the fruits of labor enthusiastically say "Hell yes!" But oddly enough they (having been there and all) actually concur with me, despite having since developed a deep-seeded hate for K-Mart. This system is sweet, and better yet, it is multi-faceted.\nNot only does the system play the newest and most technologically sound games out there in 128 bits of glory, it also plays old Playstation games, audio CDs, video discs, burned CDs and, at least in my humble opinion, the jewel in the technological crown, DVDs. \nHaving absorbed the superiority that is Playstation 2, am I the same? No, not really. I'm addicted; I crave the console like a crack whore craves rocks. Food, drink and bodily hygiene; all are sacrificed for PS2. Men of my generation find comfort through having a controller clutched between their sweaty little claws. We are servants to the machine, both damning and thanking Sony for its almighty creation. \nAnd with Christmas quickly approaching, Sony will begin peddling addiction to the masses. PS2 is this year's variation on Tickle Me Elmo, except not sucky.\nBetter than drugs, sex, alcohol or whatever other vices you might possess, PS2 allows gamers to have their fantasies actualized from the comfort of the closest futon or La-Z-Boy, and all without the inconvenience STDs, rehab or the beloved hangover provide. The greatest consequence of shacking up with the PS2 is having a bout with sore thumbs; that is, unless you consider the loss of a social life a loss.

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