How to drive away your roommate in 9 easy steps



1. Eat the last slice her Mother Bear’s Pizza pizza without asking.

Nothing is more satisfying than seeing your roommate come home after a long day hoping to eat her leftover Munchie Madness only to find that you, in fact, finished it without asking. Your roommate will absolutely love you for eating the last slice. Trust me, nothing will make her happier.

2. Enter her room without knocking.

If your roommate’s door is closed, it actually means she wants you to enter without any sort of warning. She would love it if you interrupted an intense scene of "Game of Thrones" to talk about how an exam went or to ask advice on an outfit for a night out. And after you leave, don’t forget to leave the door open — privacy is overrated anyway. 

3. Leave clumps of hair in the bathtub after you shower.

Roommates love to clean up after each other, especially when it’s clumps of thick, curly wet hair left stuck to the bathtub floor. There’s nothing your roommate will appreciate more than having to take time out of her already busy morning to peel your hair off of the walls before showering.

4. Use the last of her toothpaste without asking.

Picture this. Your roommate has been up late studying. All she wants is to get ready for bed quickly and easily. She pulls out her toothpaste, and she goes to squeeze it onto the toothbrush when, all of a sudden, she realizes there is none left because you finished it this morning. Of course, it’s too late to go out and buy some, so she’s forced to go to sleep with a dirty mouth.

5. Leave your dirty dishes to pile up in the sink long enough for the smell to linger.

The BEST thing you can do for your roommate is to forget about your dirty dishes in the sink. Your roommate will love having to stick her arm elbow-deep into a pile of crusty, dirty dishes just to reach the drain that is clogged with leftover food from your dishes.

6. Definitely never do any of the house chores, even if it is your turn.

Nearly every household assigns chores to each roommate. DON’T DO THEM. It may seem like your roommates want you to take out the trash every week or start the dishwasher whenever it’s loaded, but don’t be fooled. She’ll like it much more if you ignore all of your household responsibilities, forcing your other roommates to pick up the slack. 

7. Mess up her Netflix queue. 

Chances are you only have one main TV in your house or apartment, and chances are that TV is only hooked up to one Netflix account. In order to ensure proper roommate bonding, you should watch all of your roommate’s TV shows without her. That way, when she logs on to watch the next episode of "Grey’s Anatomy," the queue will be set to a few episodes ahead. Nothing like a good Meredith and Derek spoiler to bring you two closer together!

8. Take too long in the bathroom every morning even though you know your roommate will likely be late for her class.

If you share a bathroom with your roommate, it's best to take way too long in the morning showering, doing your makeup or straightening your hair. Your roommate will love being late to class every morning because you needed an extra 10 minutes to get the perfect winged eyeliner.

9. “Borrow” your roommate's favorite top and then “forget” to give it back.

Lastly, the best part of having a roommate is the ability to have two, maybe even three or four closets! I’m sure your roommate will happily share her brand new top with you, especially if you don’t ask. Simply walk into her room, take it and wear it out without her knowing. And forget to give it back when you're done! Your roommate doesn’t need it back.

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