Time for a Supreme makeover

I’m a bit of a sucker for politics. I love watching CNN report nightly on the happenings on Capitol Hill. Yes, Anderson Cooper, you keep on doing your thing.

Of course, I let the love work itself around to all branches of the federal government. I love the executive branch because it’s the face we put on our great nation for the world to see. I love the legislative branch for its rules, regulations and compromise (plus I think the word “filibuster” sounds kind of funny).

Yet the recent news that Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens is considering his retirement (which is expected to be announced one way or the other by month’s end) was a cheerful reminder that, at the end of the day, I love the federal government’s judicial branch the most.

Now, there are many reasons to love the Supreme Court. Maybe you love the life-long terms as a justice, ensuring that the court won’t be swayed by worries of “re-election” or “lobbyists.”

Maybe you enjoy how the most lasting legacy of a presidency may come down to which justices he appointed to the Court. I myself am I fan of the old SC for just these reasons.

But for how much I love it, there is a gap in modern political etiquette that the two other branches have filled, but the Supreme Court has left void: Hollywood entertainers have not yet invaded our judicial branch.

They seem to be everywhere in recent history. Ronald Reagan, an actor, was our president, and Arnold Schwarzenegger became the governor of California.

As someone who grew up in Minnesota, I watched professional wrestler Jesse “The Body” Ventura become my governor, and I watched comedian Al Franken become my senator.

Thus, Minnesota was, during the course of 20 years, responsible for the election of both the funniest (Franken) and the second-most badass politicians in the country (Ventura finished behind Schwarzenegger — the man was the Terminator for crying out loud).

Truthfully, the Supreme Court doesn’t know what it’s missing.

Too long has the court been plagued with uninteresting “lawyers” and “old people” who have taken the “supreme” out of Supreme Court. What I would give to see some stars of the entertainment world pop in to put it back.

Imagine someone like Sylvester Stallone sitting in the place of Justice Stevens. What would be the downside in that? Forget about lack of experience, and the fact that it’s hard to understand anything he says. We’re always talking about the judicial system looking out for the little man, the underdog, the nobody — and someone like Stallone would do that. After all, he was Rocky Balboa.

In the end, I just want the drama of such landmark cases as “Brown v. Board of Education” and “Roe v. Wade” to be matched by the dramatic chops of the judges deciding them. And if putting Rocky on the bench will do that, then so be it.


E-mail: henrgree@indiana.edu