This past summer, I interned for a non-profit fashion magazine that worked on incorporating small businesses into Indianapolis. I am not a particularly trendy person. However, because of this brief employment, I have far too much confidence in thinking I know about what is fashionable.
There are a lot of current trends, mainly micro-trends — fast fashion clothing items with a short closet life-span — that I dislike.
Those fluffy bag things, like the Tiktok/Depop ones
I hate these bags so much. They feel weird on my hands. It’s akin to the feeling of dry, winter-worn skin rubbing a staticky blanket. The inside of them is always scratchy and they look and feel like they’re going to fall apart.
These are a big fast fashion item, and they fit the part: cheaply made and hastily designed.
I like to wear practical shoes a lot — I’m a big white Reebok girl. Jelly shoes are not practical. Unfortunately, they are somewhat cute but give me blisters. My feet sweat so much when I wear these — a slip and slide moment I do not like. The shoes can be cute but they’re also a little bit too Polly Pocket style for my taste, so I would personally not wear — but they can be styled well.
My main hatred against jelly shoes is their 2022 version. They’re a watered down version of the glassy 90’s classic, and I don’t like big brands reusing this style. It feels ingenuine, especially when a luxury brand like Gucci starts to release tacky shoes.
Listen, I like to reduce, reuse and recycle as much as the next girl. However, cutting up sheer black tights and tying them into a top isn’t exactly my definition of fashion forward. In all fairness, it’s bold. It’s innovative. Unlike a lot of the trends I’m talking about, it's not fast fashion which is a good start, and I think it’s interesting.
To me, my biggest issues are the sheerness of the tights, which I feel like can lend itself to a little slippage, and the practicality of the garment. You probably won't wear tights as a top out anywhere besides the bars — which is OK — but the tights could easily get ripped from dancing or sweaty from the atmosphere.
I have a specific vendetta against this style of pants. My main issue with these pants is that they simply don’t work in any context. They’re a little flashy for going to class, but they don’t look nice enough for a dinner. They’re not stretchy, so the pattern doesn’t mold to your body. It sits stiff and rigid against your leg. Likewise, jeans are objectively not comfortable, especially women’s cut jeans. With these patterns, it makes the pants even stiffer than they already are.
Also, these jeans are a micro-trend moment. I hate a micro-trend — I could write a whole thing about them specifically. Micro-trends are bad for the environment because of the turnover time for the wearer. Fast fashion brands traditionally churn out micro-trends, like sweater vests, tennis skirts and that “cowgirl” tee. Swirly patterned jeans are just another micro-trend destined for the dumpster.
Last but certainly not least are the horror that inspired this column: transition lenses — the prescription glasses that tint to a sunglass when you step outside. To put it blatantly, they are ugly. I think they are bad for the environment. This is factually incorrect. You could show me statistics that show they are actually great for the environment, and I literally wouldn’t care.
Also, who is willingly wearing a transition lens besides a child? You’re really going to come inside after being outside and have to wait for your glasses to transition back? It’s dumb, in my opinion.
Please take my personal preferences with a grain of salt. If you have a fluffy Depop bag and are a cool hottie, it’s all chill, I truly do not care. I don’t actually judge people for wearing these items, but rather hate the items as separate entities. Likewise, I wore camo pants last week, so I’m just as bad.
Curren Gauss (she/her) is a junior majoring in English with a minor in playwriting. She hopes to someday have a job.
