So you opted out of the spring break fun this year, either because of money or because you and your squad couldn’t get your plans together in time. But no worries — who needs sun and sand when you can get 70 degree weather right here at home in the great state of Indiana?
Seriously, though, all of the planning, money and stress that go into spring break getaways are exhausting on top of midterms, so kudos to you for deciding to sit this one out. Unfortunately, that added relaxation flies out of the window when you see your friends having the time of their lives on Snapchat or Instagram. That’s when the fear of missing out sets in.
Not to worry because spring break isn’t that great, or at least you won’t think it is after you watch these three classic spring break movies. The secondhand embarrassment you’ll suffer while watching these movies is more uncomfortable than sand in your buns.
“Spring Breakers” — Wow, what a train wreck of a movie. Some have deemed it a cult classic, but that still doesn’t make it anything resembling a good movie. Watch heartthrob-turned-creep James Franco solidify that title as he gets down and dirty with your favorite childhood Disney stars. Revel in the cleanliness of your sheets. This movie is 10/10, would recommend for a weirdly good time.
“From Justin to Kelly” — IU’s youngest students were probably only four or five when the first season of “American Idol” aired, and therefore they did not experience or cannot remember the hysteria that ensued thereafter. However, “American Idol” was such a big deal that they decided to make a vacation movie using the two finalists, Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson, as protagonists. What ensued was a corny musical that was, rightfully, called “witless” and “banal” by Rotten Tomatoes.
"She’s All That" — Finally we arrive at arguably one of the best spring break movies, “She’s All That.” Maybe it’s so great because it’s barely about spring break, a topic that ultimately makes for a pretty shallow plot, but there is a spring break scene where our beloved protagonist Zach, played by Freddie Prinze Jr., gets dumped in front of the entire senior class by his girlfriend, who insists on telling Zach all about her crazy vacation exploits. These include top-notch choices like cheating with a reality TV star and getting matching tattoos.
Staying home for spring break has never looked more appealing than in comparison to these movies, so I suggest you just stay off Snapchat and snuggle up on the couch.
It’s expected to snow in Indiana next week, so if you’re sticking around, I doubt that you’ll get much fun in the sun. It'll be worth it, though — watching someone else’s embarrassing antics on a screen will be much better than reliving your own when you’ve finally sobered up a week later.