Unfortunately, February is upon us. Not many of my friends or acquaintances enjoy February. It’s usually because Valentine’s Day lies smack in the middle, but it’s also really cold and the meat of the first eight weeks of the semester.
I am not looking forward to February. I spend the first half of the month avoiding happy couples, and I spend the second half eating my weight in leftover chocolates that my friends bought me.
However, I’m trying to turn the prospect of Valentine’s Day around.
At the beginning of the semester, I was recommended a New York Mag advice column by a friend. It belonged to the Ask Polly column and regarded the question of “Why am I always too much for men?”
For me, this has been a frequent question in my head ever since I first began thinking about boys. Even more recently, I’ve thought this about myself. So of course, the onslaught of Valentine’s Day has me stressed out and concerned about my lack of love life.
I think we could all benefit from “Polly’s” kind of outlook for the next year.
“Polly” gave sage advice to the woman who wrote in by telling her to stop having unrealistic expectations going in to a relationship.
This really resonated with me in terms of my relationships with men and in terms of platonic relationships as well. I’ve always put 100 percent of myself into everything, except for math or waking up on time, that I do.
While in the platonic field of relationships, my friends appreciate the open heart I offer and the eagerness to please.
This article helped me come to terms with accepting being too much for certain people. I’ve also come to realize that at my ripe age of 20, not many other people my age are looking for the same things I’m looking for. Honestly, I don’t even know if I’m looking for the things I’m looking for.
I like to say I’m looking for a relationship or something more permanent than hookup culture, but I think if I were to be presented with a real-life boy interested in a real, loving relationship, I would probably freeze up.
What I’m getting at here is sometimes it only takes one anonymous woman online to help me realize that I’m expecting too much when I’m not entirely sure what I want.
Maybe we will all be happier with ourselves if we focus on figuring out what we want at this phase in our lives first.
Think about it, guys. This is technically a transitional period between high school and real life or grad school if you like that kind of suffering so maybe we should stop assuming everyone is interested in a relationship or long-term interaction.
mmgarbac@umail.iu.edu
